Want Some Tips for One-Handed Loving?

One of the common complaints people have about masturbation is that they find it boring. It’s easy to get into a rut, especially if you’ve been doing the same old thing ever since you first discovered self pleasuring. But just like one of the best ways to keep partner sex fun is to change it up every now and then (or more often!), switching how you do solo sex can make a big difference. Of course, you might have difficulty coming up with ideas, so here are a few places to get inspiration.

If you have a vulva, Dr. Sadie Allison’s Tickle Your Fancy is a great guide. It’s written for women, although many of the techniques will work for transmen, too. And you can learn about vibrators, dildos, lubricants, anal play, fantasies, and much, much more. It’s also a very quick and easy read and Dr. Sadie gets right to the point, so you can try a bunch of new ideas really quickly. I Love Female Orgasm is another fantastic resource. Although it isn’t focused on masturbation, there are lots of useful tips and amazing information that will definitely inspire you!

If you want even more detailed information about sexual anatomy and pleasure, give Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure a try. There’s a reason it won the 2010 Book of the Year award from the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselor and Therapists. You’ll discover more ways to experience pleasure than you knew existed. I don’t care how much you know- you’re certain to learn something fun, interesting, and useful from this one.

Of course, there are a lot more sex guides that aren’t written about masturbation, but many of them have some fun tips that can certainly work. The Joy of Erotic Massage and the Expert Guide to Hand Jobs for Men and Women will give you some really good ideas for how to use your hands and unlike the books I mentioned, they both have info for men and women. Dr. Sadie also wrote Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide. While it’s written for women with male partners, a lot of her suggestions work for solo fun.

And just to round it out, let’s not forget tantra and sacred sex. While many sacred sex traditions are geared toward couples (and heterosexual ones, at that), they don’t all have that focus. Plus, learning to work with sexual energetic practices can be easier if you start off on your own and then do it with a partner.

Urban Tantra has plenty of guidance and info about sacred sex, including how it combines with masturbation, as does The Modern Kama Sutra. And The Multi Orgasmic Woman and The Multi Orgasmic Man both have extensive information on the topic from a Taoist perspective. These manuals go a long way towards dispelling the idea that solo sex and sacred sex are worlds apart.

So with all of these great books and videos, there’s really no reason to be bored with your self pleasuring. All it takes is a little know how and some time to practice!

Dr. Charlie Glickman

Charlie Glickman is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. He also writes, blogs, teaches workshops and university courses, presents at conferences, and trains sexuality educators. He’s certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and loves geeking out about sex, relationships, sex-positivity, love and shame, communities of erotic affiliation, and sexual practices and techniques of all varieties. Follow him online, on Twitter at @charlieglickman, or on Facebook.

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