Vaginal Tightness, Housework, and Intimacy

My husband’s boss’s wife was expecting at the same time I was and, after a few beers at the local bar, Mr. Boss confided something to my husband: his eight month pregnant wife’s vagina was too, ahem, big for him to enjoy and he missed cumming in her. Since they don’t really have that kind of relationship, my husband was too shocked by his boss’s confession to respond, but he mentioned it to me when he got home. He was surprised it was a problem, because we weren’t having any trouble and hadn’t had any with my last pregnancy. I, however, wasn’t surprised at all and I don’t think the issue was physical.

Mr. Boss hadn’t wanted a baby and only agreed to impregnate Mrs. Boss after making it clear that the baby would be her thing and that he would only be minimally involved. (To date, he’s only changed one or two of the three-month-old’s diapers.) In addition, Mr. Boss doesn’t help with the housework at all, even though Mrs. Boss also has a full-time job and brings home more money. Mr. Boss doesn’t cook either and Mrs. Boss has her own friends, so there’s not much social mixing.

Are you beginning to guess what I’m getting at here?

Sex may be a great way of keeping a relationship together, but the pendulum swings both ways. It’s no secret that men who help around the house get laid more. (I’ve not seen any studies or articles on this issue as it relates to same-sex couples, but would love to!) There’s a lot of focus in reports out there about how helping husbands give their wives more time and rested wives are more energetic for sex, but I suspect there’s also more emotional intimacy.

Just as children who “otherize” the opposite gender are less likely to feel compassion for the opposite sex, I suspect adults are prone to the same feelings. Dividing chores by gender, especially disproportionately, probably fosters ill will and emotional isolation. I know I wouldn’t want to screw someone who spent all his time on the couch or playing video games while I was chasing the kids and washing the dishes! It would make me feel like we weren’t in a family together, especially since I contribute to our bank account just as much as he does. I wouldn’t tolerate that sort of chore apathy from one of my kids and the idea of tolerating it in a partner is just plain off-putting. This rift may be easy for the less active partner to cross, but the more active partner will be too tired and resentful to bother. It’s times like this when five minutes with a vibrator looks better than half an hour of passionate lovemaking.

You may be wondering how these emotional factors might impact the tightness of a (pregnant) woman’s vagina. As a pregnant woman who has had angry sex, let me enlighten you! Like any couple, my husband and I fight. And, like any couple, we get randy. Sometimes these events intersect and while that doesn’t affect how my body is shaped, it does change how my body reacts.

When I’ve had intercourse just because I was horny and didn’t really care about making my husband feel good, I’ve been much less responsive. My back doesn’t arch and my vagina doesn’t squeeze. I’m just kind of lying there, being serviced. When I’m pregnant, these things become extra important in getting my husband off, since I’m already opening up. I may be super wet, but I’m not putting the same effort into making my husband feel good. My husband responds in the same way. He doesn’t last so long and usually doesn’t put as much energy into pleasing me. We both get off, which may be what we really need in order to make friends again, but the sex certainly isn’t as good. Make-up sex is amazing, but, for us, angry sex is usually just the basics.

So I suspect that Mrs. Boss just wasn’t–and probably still isn’t–happy with Mr. Boss. If I were her, I would be worried about whether or not my child would be able to bond with her father and feel cheated out of the experience of having a family, instead feeling more like a single mom. I also suspect that Mr. Boss isn’t getting as much ‘tang as my husband is–and I’m still three weeks away from being able to indulge again. While my husband may not have known what to say to his drunk, horny boss in that bar, I know that I would have recommended that he take some interest in choosing the baby’s name or gone home and picked up a mop!

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