We Need More TV Characters to Talk About the Realities of Sex

OK, so this is a little second-hand news because I don’t have the time or interest to watch much TV. But one of my co-workers has been watching Mike & Molly and told me about something pretty fantastic.

In the second episode, which aired about a year ago, Molly’s about to go on a first date and has this conversation with her sister, Victoria:

“You want a condom?”

“No.”

“Okay. What about lube?”

“It’s our first date.”

“You know what they say. Better to have lube and not need it than need lube and not have it.”

There is so much win here that it’s hard to describe it all. First, we have the fact that Victoria suggested that Molly bring a condom on her first date. One of the common reasons that people don’t have safer sex is being unprepared. And while you might not be planning to have sex on your first date (or on any other date, for that matter), it certainly happens. And since arousal tends to cause us to make different decisions than we might under other circumstances, it’s often harder in those moments to stop things. It’s much better to be prepared, just in case.

I admit I’m a little confused about what the purpose of the lube might be if there’s no condom involved, but even so, to have someone in a TV show make the point that lube is good might very well be a first, especially for a show on a network like CBS. And since there are lots of reasons why someone’s vaginal lubrication might be unpredictable (like having a bit too much to drink), it really is better to have it around. Anyway, I suppose that even if intercourse isn’t on the menu, if Molly and her date were fooling around, they might want some lube for a handjob or something.

Even though Molly didn’t make the decision that I wish she had, and even though the show didn’t explore her reasons for not bringing a condom, I still think it’s a step forward to have condoms and lube normalized like this. Molly didn’t flip out, she didn’t base her decision on whether carrying condoms would make her a slut, and she didn’t get defensive or reactive about it. For all of the sex that we see in the media, we have very few examples of this everyday decision-making process around it, and that’s pretty amazing. I just wish there was more of it.

Dr. Charlie Glickman

Charlie Glickman is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. He also writes, blogs, teaches workshops and university courses, presents at conferences, and trains sexuality educators. He’s certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and loves geeking out about sex, relationships, sex-positivity, love and shame, communities of erotic affiliation, and sexual practices and techniques of all varieties. Follow him online, on Twitter at @charlieglickman, or on Facebook.

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