Too Much Sex Ruining Your Sex Drive?
I remember a more carefree time when I could stay out all night, sleep all day, and no one other than my mother cared. In high school, if you would have walked into my bedroom on a Saturday at noon, you’d find my purple Converses on my pillowcase, my head buried at the foot of my bed under my leopard print comforter (that I still had until about a year ago), and nine times out of ten I’d still have my purse in my hand or somewhere under the covers with me. Wow. There’s really nothing like waking up at noon with lipstick smeared across your arm-from your mouth, while you were sleeping-and a mysterious condom paperclipped (unopened) to your bra strap. Who does that?
The paperclip thing actually happened, by the way, but that’s a different article, folks!
Nowadays, if I sleep until noon, I’ll wake up to find the fire department in my face. Instead of a vodka bottle clutched in my hand, there would be a remote. Or the alarm clock after I strangled it. I also prefer to sleep with my head on the pillow rather than my feet. Feet plus pillow equals yuck! I don’t go out and party all night long anymore. I stopped that at a very long time ago, when I was eighteen and became a teenaged mother. I don’t miss it much, either. Every now and then, though, I do go out with my cousins, without kids and husbands, and see a movie or ride around and talk about the important things in life-like astrology and tampons. It’s nice to get out with the gals like that and discuss civilized things that don’t involve big purple dinosaurs and chicken nuggets.
The coolest thing about this is that my cousins are all younger than me. I don’t have to talk about sex with them! As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure it’s probably frowned upon. This thrills me for a number of reasons. In a nutshell, every single one of my ‘jobs’ involve sex. I write romance books. Sex. I review romance and erotica novels. LOTS of sex. I review sex toys. SEX. I’m a wife. Sex there, too, sometimes. Everything that I do, everywhere that I do, sex is involved. It’s so nice to get away from it sometimes, and that’s important for a mother because if you’re around something all the time, it just isn’t special anymore. It takes a lot away from it. That’s where I can get into trouble in my relationship because, let’s face it, I don’t want to have a marriage with no sex. I want it in there somewhere.
I know that everybody knows that kids, work, and the daily grind can sometimes hinder-and in really awful cases-absolutely kill your sex drive. The thing is, if you’re around nothing but sex all the time, you can do just as much damage. I do have suggestions that might help you, though. Whether your problem is that you’re around sex too much or your busy life is hindering the sheet sessions, these things might help you out a little bit.
Rhiannon’s Sex-Drive Booster Tip #1: Take a deep breath. Now let it out…Okay, so taking the deep breath won’t help your sex drive, but it does help to clear your head, and you need to do that in order to get your libido to cooperate with the rest of you. Not to mention it just sounded good. Now, think back to when you were a kid. What made you happy? Rainbows? Superman? Whatever it was, go back to that time. If you liked to blow bubbles as a kid, buy some bubbles and blow away for half an hour. Sounds silly, but it works! It relaxes you, makes you happy. When you’re relaxed and happy, sex comes pretty naturally.
Rhiannon’s Sex-Drive Booster Tip #2: Ya know that friend who told you it was fun to lick the flagpole that one really cold December in the fifth grade? Don’t listen to him when he tells you that in order to boost your sex drive you should run around outside naked in negative ten weather. Really. As a matter of fact, don’t listen to any of your friends because what works for them isn’t going to work for you.
Rhiannon’s Sex-Drive Booster Tip #3: I don’t know what it is about men with a little fur on their chests and red hair that turn me into a ball of mush. Everybody has their things. Those are mine. Whatever yours are, use them to your advantage. If muffins are your thing, slice one in half and put half a muffin on each of your lover’s butt cheeks. Ya know, get creative.
Rhiannon’s Sex-Drive Booster #4: Get in your car and drive off until you reach a location where you can pull over unseen. Pull over unseen. Now, take off all your clothes and drive home in the buff with your heat turned WAY up. Do not crack a window, but do turn on the cd player and play something full of bumping and grinding. Think Pussycat Dolls. This works for many reasons. Number one, it gives you a rush. Number two, a lot of car interiors are leather, velvety, soft, ribbed, textured…get it? If you’re naked there, it’s gonna start rubbing your goodies. When you get home, you’ll be a new woman. What’s more, you’ll feel so empowered that you’ll feel like humping for at least an hour. That’s a good start!
If none of my tips help you, just repeat number four. Only this time stop at a grocery store, walk in there naked, raise an eyebrow at the door greeter or the first employee that you see, and then walk right back out-still naked-and get into your car and drive home. Stopping at the store just sort of ups the ante. Know what I mean? When you get home you’ll have a really funny story to tell. Unless you go to jail for indecent exposure. Then you’re pretty well screwed in a whole new sense.
The times may have changed since we were all young and first learned what and how sex was, but the principals are the same. Stick this here, wiggle that there, shake that a little, stand up, sit down, lay back a bit more, shimmy it this way, rinse, lather, repeat.
See? You’re already thinking about it. Step one is out of the way. Hold the applause. Now you can have sex again without forcing yourself! You should pat yourself on the back. Or rub yourself down there. Whatever turns you on. Happy fucking!