Three Ways Masturbation Can Improve Your Sex Life

You probably won’t be surprised when I tell you that we’re big fans of masturbation here at Good Vibrations. But there’s more to it than our belief that pleasure is your birthright. There are some pretty specific ways in which solo sex can improve your sex life.

Masturbation Lets YouTake Charge of Your Sex Life

The first (and in some ways, most important) benefit to masturbation is that it puts control of your sexual pleasure and orgasm in your own hands. Whether you take that as a literal statement or not, one of the best things you can do for yourself is stop thinking of sex as something that depends on someone else.

All too many people are sure that unless they have a partner, or a partner who knows exactly what to do, or a partner who shares the same interests and desires, or a partner who fits some list of characteristics, they don’t get to have pleasure. When we’re convinced that their our sexual experiences are dependent on someone else, it puts a lot of pressure on our relationships. How many of us are convinced that we’re responsible for “giving” a partner an orgasm? Sure, dining with a friend can offer different pleasures than eating on your own, but knowing that you can cook your own dinner means you don’t have to worry about someone else being there to do it for you.

Enjoying masturbation lets us take control of our pleasure. When we each decide to be the one responsible for our own experiences, we often find much more freedom in our relationships because we can ask for what we want, set our boundaries, and explore new ways to enjoy sex.


That’s especially important if a partner simply isn’t available. For example, if your partner develops a health issue, or takes a job with long hours, or is traveling a lot, or anything else that limits their sexual availability, that can be a real problem if you’re convinced that your pleasure needs their active participation. On the other hand, if you can take care of things for yourself and enjoy the fun and joy that solo sex brings, it’ll probably be much easier to navigate through whatever is going on.

And of course, if you don’t happen to have a partner at the moment and you want to, owning your sexual pleasure can make things much easier. It’s often been said that the best way to attract someone is to send out a vibe that you have a great sex life. Glowing from an amazing solo sex session is much more likely to draw someone to you than looking cranky because you haven’t gotten any.

Try Something New With Solo Sex

Masturbation is an amazing way to try something new without the pressure of partner expectations or worrying about how it’ll work with someone else. For example, I’ve often said that whether you want to be a giver or receiver for anal play, exploring it solo is a wonderful way to see how it works. It’ll give you a much better understanding of how it works for your partner, so you’ll be much more suave. And you might even discover you like being on the other side of things.


Or if you want to try a new kind of toy, like cock rings, prostate play, vibrators, or G-spot pleasure, some solo experimentation can give you some really useful information about what you like or don’t like. Sex is often easier (and more fun) when at least one person knows what they’re doing, and masturbation is a good way to give something new a try.

Plus, there’s always the possibility that you’ll give it a shot and it won’t do much for you. There’s nothing that works for everyone when it comes to sex, but if you’re with someone else, there’s sometimes a sense of pressure or obligation around it. If you’re on your own, that’s not really an issue- you can just stop whenever you want and do something else.

Masturbation Keeps You In Shape

And lastly, it’s an adage that when it comes to the human body, you have to use it or lose it. That applies to sex as much as anything else- if you want to keep in tip-top shape, you need to exercise. If you’re in your twenties or thirties, you might not notice it as much, but trust me- it’s true. And that’s especially the case once you’re a bit older. If you want to be able to have great sex when you’re older, the time to start practicing is now, no matter how old you are.


Sure, doing your Kegels is an important part of that (and now, there’s a great iphone app to keep track of it) but it’s not going to be enough on its own. The more you keep your body’s sexual responses such as lubrication and erection active, the easier it is to enjoy sex. It’s the same thing as going for a walk instead of sitting on the couch all day- a little exercise will make sure that your body stays healthy and active. (Don’t believe me? Check out Joan Price’s Better Than I Ever Expected.)

If you don’t have someone to have sex with with, that’s no excuse. Do a little practice session by yourself! And really, how often do you get told that something that’s good for you can feel so good? Take advantage of the opportunity.

I once heard sex educator Joe Kramer make the point that the foods we enjoy as teenagers are rarely the same as what we enjoy at 40. But all too often, we’re still masturbating the same way- as quietly and as quickly as possible. So I think there’s a wonderful opportunity there to try something new, take your time, and discover what pleasures await you. Plus, there are a lot of wonderful sex toys these days that’ll make your solo sex lots of fun.


The Pop Your Top Deluxe Kit is perfect for G-spot or prostate fun. It comes with the Magic Wand, one of our best sellers of all time, a Silicone G-spotter (which works wonders on the prostate), and some lube.

Cisgender women who want some tips and suggestions for enjoying a little alone time will get a lot out of Dr. Sadie Allison’s Tickle Your Fancy. It’s full of great ideas, as are I Love Female Orgasm and The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women.

Sex toy technology for guys has improved a lot in recent years. The Tenga Flip Air Masturbation Sleeve and the Tenga Flip Hole Masturbator are amazing sleeves- just add lube and enjoy. The Fleshlight sleeves are longtime favorites for a reason, too. The super soft sleeves some in a variety of textures, so you can get exactly the sensation you want. You might not ever want to leave the house!

If you want a little inspiration, some one-handed reading can be lots of fun. And of course, we have plenty of sexy movies, many of which can be downloaded or streamed to your computer.

So celebrate National Masturbation Month with us and take charge of your sexuality!

Dr. Charlie Glickman

Charlie Glickman is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. He also writes, blogs, teaches workshops and university courses, presents at conferences, and trains sexuality educators. He’s certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and loves geeking out about sex, relationships, sex-positivity, love and shame, communities of erotic affiliation, and sexual practices and techniques of all varieties. Follow him online, on Twitter at @charlieglickman, or on Facebook.

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