The Woman-On-Top Winch

Hey there Mamas, how was your holiday? Stressful much? Did you make any time for one of the best stress relievers ever? I did. And I so needed it. Between being in grad school, taking care of my sons and prepping for the holiday, I was one stressed out mama. And, for me, the higher than usual amount of stress requires a more dramatic form of stress relief.

Basically, I tied a man diagonally across my bed and had my way with him for several hours. Totally consensual of course. Felt absolutely renewed as a person afterward. It was fun to say the least, but also very very necessary. He’s a great guy, a good friend, and very understanding that sometimes, with being pulled in so many different directions, I need to just get on top and get off. He actually didn’t see it coming. I had the rope prepared, already anchored to the bed frame. I whispered my wish into his ear, he agreed by raising his arms above his head and with a most wicked smile allowed me to tie him down with the taut linen rope. I used a more flexible thick elastic band to bind his ankles. Then, well, I feverishly worked out about 4 weeks of stress.

I am writing papers, balancing a household budget, raising children on my own; all of that energy goes away from me. I am constantly thinking about how other people feel, what other people need, how tomorrow will go. And I am grateful for all of it. Grateful for my children, my friends and family. Grateful to be in school, grateful to write and be creative. Grateful to be the head of my household. It is just depleting, and some times more than others.

When the week long holiday started, I heard people planning how they would unwind, relax, or find motivation, get invigorated, so they can rejoin their projects refreshed. I didn’t hear many people say, “I am planning to have some awesome, fantastic, soul-shaking, boundary-pushing sex.” That was my plan from the jump. I’m taking a good two days to fuck somebody’s brains out. Or as the guy calls it, “getting fucked stupid.” Which is awesome for a hyper cerebral person like me. I can afford to lose an IQ point or two if it means I get to orgasm the way I did.

Afterward, with the help of another friend, we named the position “The Woman On Top Winch.” A winch is a hauling or lifting device using a rope or cable that is wound around something that rotates and then turned, usually with a hand crank. Use your imagination a bit and you can see how it’s a fitting description. There was rope, hand cranking, and my body, mind and spirit were definitely lifted.

Airial Clark

As of May 2012, I will have completed my Master’s Degree in Human Sexuality Studies at San Francisco State University. Prior to attending graduate school, I graduated from UC Berkeley in 2007 with a double major BA in English Literature and Anthropology while raising two young sons as a single parent. At Cal, I was President of the Student Parent Association. I am a regular contributor to the Sex Positive Photo Project of the SF Bay Area and Shades Magazine. I have presented my original research at multiple academic conferences and symposiums. I will be presenting my Master’s Thesis Study at the OpenSF Conference this June. I have trained with Community at Work to be a group facilitator and am fully committed to the participatory process of decision making.

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