The Pregnant Pro Domme
I had been working in the adult industry for five years and as a professional dominatrix for three when I found out I was, well, knocked up. I was unmarried, uninsured, and, though I’m pro-choice, knew with all my heart that I wanted to be a mom.
This had always thrown my coworkers, whether photographers, clients, or fellow adult actresses or dominatrixes, but I have a strong maternal side and love kids. I even worked as an au pair and at a nursery when still in high school. And who knows? That shy teen you hire to watch your two-year-old may also one day be available to spend a little quality time with you! I didn’t think there was anything incongruous about my desire to breed and my feminism, my desire for raunchy sex and my desire to nurture a child. My boyfriend, now husband, agreed, but I was often met with doubt and disbelief when I said I wanted to be a mommy. Why on earth would I have chosen to be a sex worker if I wanted kids?
Beyond getting married in a hurry\’my conservative Catholic mother has had enough surprises and I wanted to at least give her a legitimate grandchild\’I had to decide what I wanted to do with my career. In fact, a lot of us did. Right before I found out I was expecting, another prominent, local Mistress told me she had a bun in the oven, too, and two more followed shortly thereafter. It was a kinky baby boom! It was also amazing to have other women to talk to who were going through the same thing. Most of the dommy mommies I knew had their babies years before they began adult work. They never had to waddle around the dungeon in six inch stilettos, rushing off to pee every five minutes because a fetus was pushing on their bladders. Speaking of which, pregnancy is great for golden shower scenes!
Out of all the decisions that had to be made, I was always very clear about one thing: one way or another I was going to keep working. It would mean that I would have to stop switching with my clients, but it was better than quitting. First of all, I was worried I would lose my slot at the gorgeous SoMa dungeon I session at, Maison de la MaÃ®tresse. It’s one of the most beautiful venues I’ve ever seen and is perfectly equipped for the domestic discipline and sissification scenes I’m so fond of. Losing it would be disastrous. Second, I needed to build up a nest egg for my time off. There are many wonderful things about being a self-employed sex worker, but paid maternity leave is not one of them.
To keep working, I had to build a fetish wardrobe that would encompass my quickly swelling stomach. The other pregnant pro dommes and I frantically searched for lingerie that still looked dominant, trading shopping links and handing down corselets, and I stuffed myself into my leather pants for as long as I could, but eventually I had to settle for a black jersey maternity dress that I wore over and over again. I paired it with the craziest shoes my subs could find to try to add a little variety. Expensive latex and leather were out of the question and vinyl cracked unbecomingly at even the slightest stretch.
Telling clients of my delicate condition was another hurdle. I lost all my dominant clients over night. Submissives who had been with me for years expressed concerns over our activities somehow affecting my unborn baby\’at least until I informed them that my husband and I did things a thousand times kinkier almost every night and that I sure as hell wasn’t going to be celibate for the next nine months, so they should enjoy our time together while they could. Others opted to spend hours rubbing my swollen ankles rather than let me click around in my beloved stilettos, but most were just in awe of the fecund goddess before them.
My breasts, already surgically enhanced, inflated like balloons, softening and actually looking somewhat real. My twenty-four inch waist grew lush and unrestrained, maxing out at almost fifty inches. My ass plumped and my hips broadened, rendering me a living Venus of Willendorf. I finally had the maternal figure to match my maternal nature and I began attracting more and more clients who wanted to be mothered as well as disciplined. Pregnancy turned me from a thin fetish model with a barely legal schoolgirl look into a voluptuous fertility goddess.
I also started doing a lot of cuckold scenes, which was a whole new venue of exploration. When my first client, a long-term playmate that I still see regularly, asked me to tell him that the baby I was carrying wasn’t his, I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. The baby wasn’t his. He’d probably never even seen me completely naked\’certainly not in person, anyway. Still, he enjoyed having it rubbed in his face that I was with someone else and I found the idea so amusing and empowering that I went along with it. For those into cuckolding scenes, pregnancy can really drive the point home. I actually find them a little dull unless I’m carrying another man’s seed. The fantasy that a guy would be so hopelessly devoted to me that his devotion would endure even when being told that I’m having my lover’s baby and he’s just going to have to deal with it really churns my butter, even if I wouldn’t actually want to start a family that way.
I kept working until two weeks before my due date, adjusting my whipping stance to my new center of gravity and reaching around my puffed out belly to bind my subs. After that I continued working from home, which kept me from going stir crazy as the baby coasted along to two weeks after my due date, only making his grand entrance into the world when doctors began to plan for induced labor. My new husband tried to get me to stay home sooner, but I felt fine and had been raised on stories of my mother’s pregnancy-defying diligence. She worked until the day she had me and was back in the office a week later. I was already planning on taking off a month for post-delivery recovery, which would later turn into six weeks before returning only at part time. I didn’t want to be lazy and a number of my childless clients were just as in need of attention as they ever were. Not having gone through a pregnancy before, I wasn’t sure how to explain to them that I needed time to go to lactation classes or get my things in order or just sleep in preparation for many months of sleepless nights and days with an insomniac baby.
On the whole, it was surprisingly easy. It was, in fact, so easy, that I’m doing it all over again and am currently six months pregnant with my second little boy. I would like to think that other women in the adult industry can also continue to do what they love even while building a family, whether they’re an escort, an actress, or whatever.
The support of my clients was surprising, but really gave me a jolt of faith in humanity. Not only had the relationships that we’d built stuck, but new clients were just as appreciative of my skills whether I was a mom-to-be or not. In fact, some even went the extra mile, contributing to my son’s college fund, shopping around for and purchasing a great diaper bag, remembering his birthday with presents, and one went so far as to buy him a beautiful, hand-painted, porcelain box from Tiffany & Co. to hold his first tooth.
I hope that the support continues through this pregnancy, if only because of what it implies for all the other girls out there in the trenches who also want to be moms, but don’t want to give up working in the sex industry. The support of photographers, talent coordinators, porn-viewers, directors, and all the other men and women who make the sex trade go ’round to match that of my clients would really make the world a beautiful place.