â\”The Hichikers’ Guide to Sex and Relationships Pt.1: Not by the book
One of the many wonderful things about working here is that you get to learn oh so much about sex and sexuality. It’s your job even. I am a trained sex educator with the mandatory 24 hours of education, two years direct experience in our retail stores as well as helping many through the call center. I can tell you how to make a dental dam out of a condom, what lubricant is best for post-menapausal women with skin sensitivities, which porno director had her first anal scene in the 1970’s Classic Outlaw Ladies, and talk days about the differences between jelly rubber and silicone toys. We read a lot here and are kept up to date on the latest and greatest sex toy technologies. I know The Good Vibrations’ Guide to Sex like the back of my hand. We are book read. Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t read every book we carry cover to cover, but I have a brief knowledge of what those covers house at the least. I feel incredibly blissed for all this and confident that I can help or contribute to any question that might arise. It gives me a nice foundation. Much like traveling, I like to at least know a bit about the area before I go there. In terms of sex, all this is a great deal of help. Our guide to sex is like my personal Fodor’s guide or Lonely Planet.
Well in my travels of late, I found my self in a new land, one I had known very little to begin with and apparently missed that chapter in my many reading ( Yes, I have heard of The Ethical Slut but have been to busy processing to actually have time to breath… er… I mean read). Let’s just call this new place “Polyland” and after a seven year residency/citizenship in “Monogo-Land” I find myself somewhat lost, confused, and regretting that I didn’t read more. I’ve been in a polyamorous relationship for a little over a year now. It’s less like an Elliot Smith/Rage Against the Machine mash-up than it used to be but still a bit bipolar for me. Right now, for the first time in over a year, everyone is doing relatively well at least this minute. My long-term partner and her girlfriend are in that beginning limerance state of always hanging out, I am coping with jealousy pretty damn well, my other partner and I are settling in a comfortable, nurturing, supportive and hot serious relationship, and she’s been seeing a very nice person who I need to spend qualitity time with. I am still in love, I still get jealous, I am still learning and growing and I remember that I really don’t like traveling that much.
The funny thing is that this all just started out as an experiement, only thing is that you realize that you are the mad scientist, guinea pig, drug, and lab all rolled up into one amorphous living thing. There is no control, safe word or vacuum this plays out in. I’ll keep you updated on how it goes and actually read The Ethical Slut cuz’ I suppose it’s never too late to learn even if you are a sex nerd.