We scheduled the “DATE! months ago and the night was rapidly approaching and we STILL didn’t have a babysitter! Oh the pressure and the drama increased day by day. Until the night arrived and¦well, let me back up a little. Or rather, lets go back, waaaaay back¦.
My husband and I have a complicated relationship with another couple. I first met them both in the opening ceremony at a sex party about 9 months ago. I hooked up with the man of the couple and started dating him on a semi regular basis, about every 2 weeks or so. Very quickly, we decided that we should introduce his wife to my husband so we scheduled a date for the 4 of us. It went swimmingly! Not only did we have a rockingly good time sexually, but we found a great deal of commonality as friends and supports for each other in this complicated polyamorous world we all try to navigate carefully and lovingly.
Over the past 9 months, we have explored various combinations of dating each other, all of them fun and exciting, including several 3 sums, dating singly with various partners and enjoying each other at sex parties multiple times. They have become a big part of our lives in many other ways as well, more than just dating. Of course, early on over the summer last year, they met our kids too. They hear about the parenting mishaps and joys and share in our experiences with enthusiasm as they explore the idea of having kids of their own one day.
Well back to the present, then, we had scheduled another 4sum, and were looking forward to a hot night of fucking each other silly as we all know how to do for one another! As the days rolled forward with no babysitter in sight, we rapidly became distressed at the idea of not being able to have the “DATE! as we had labeled it on our google calendars gleefully. My husband and I had kept them informed of the lack of sitter, and they had remained super mellow and calm about it all.
Finally, the day of the “DATE! arrived and there was one last hope we held up until the last minute. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. However, we were very pleasantly surprised to hear our friends so easily decide that we could just hang out together, all 6 of us. So we proceeded to have a fun, silly evening with the kids and this couple at a bowling alley. We bowled, we talked and we laughed and laughed.
What I have found more recently in my polyamorous world is folks that will love us and appreciate us for ALL of who we are, children included. And this is so beautiful because our kids are such an integral part of who we are. I wrote these words in an email to them the next weekend:
“I was just really struck on Friday night how easy the transition to hanging with the kids instead of just the two of us was for you guys. (My hubby) and I were talking about how plenty of folks might not be so cool with that and it’s really special that the two of you have this kind of relationship with us. It means so much to us and we wanted to let you know. It’s just feeling really awesome, and we think you two are folks that we want to keep in our lives, so we wanted to make sure you know how much we love you.
Ahhhhhh…Love is sweet and beautiful.