The Case for Kink
My latest article “The Case for Kink” just got posted on Carnal Nation. Here’s the opening, but you’ll have to go to the site for the rest of it (the link is below).
One of the criticisms that gets leveled at BDSM players is the claim that BDSM is violence and that it reinforces social oppressions such as sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. There’s even a Facebook group called the Sex-Positive Leftists Critical of BDSM. In my experience, these sorts of arguments often have just enough accuracy in some of their claims that it’s hard to tease out the distortions, misunderstandings, and plain old lies. This can be really challenging, especially for newcomers to the world of kink, because it can be quite shaming to read that someone thinks that your desires and fantasies are rooted in oppression. So I’m going to take a look at some of the claims that these folks make and offer a different perspective.
Before I get into that, though, I want to start by saying that in most of the anti-BDSM writing that I’ve come across, it’s rare to see language that reflects the diversity of human sexuality. Whenever I hear someone talk about sex as if everyone has the same desires or experiences, I take it with a grain of salt. It’s simply more accurate to use “some/many/most language because there’s nothing about sex that everyone experiences in the same way. So for anyone to call themselves “sex-positive and then use language that rests on an assumption that people are the same is, I think, a contradiction, and I see it in most of the anti-BDSM blogs that I’ve seen.
For the rest of the article, go to http://sf.carnalnation.com/content/11572/452/case-kink
If you haven’t checked Carnal Nation out, it’s a great site. They have lots of fascinating articles, some of the best advice columns that I’ve seen, an excellent calendar of SF Bay Area sexuality events (with plans, I’m told, to expand to other cities), and toy reviews (disclaimer: Good Vibrations gives them sample products to review). All in all, a fab site run by fab people. Check them out. Add them to your google reader feed, follow them on Twitter or just go to CarnalNation.com.