The Beginning is the End
I was walking to his hotel suite fumbling with way too much luggage. I searched for his room and as I did I caught him looking through a window. My heart was jumping harder in my chest. Am I going through with this? It is too late to turn back now. I forced myself to his door knowing he has already seen me. Will he answer? I knocked and knew he was just a door depth away from me.
The door crept open and I looked up into his face yet I couldn’t look into his eyes. I knew I was beating red with nerves and adrenaline. I mumbled something and perhaps some kind of form of “hello” and about the over abundance of bags I had. He took some of them from me and they all parked inside the doorway and I turned around to face him as he closed the door. More mumbling from me and my hands met my hot face. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
He grabbed me towards him, bent down to kiss me and I got on my tippy toes to greet his lips. All my nerves were replaced with lust. I felt myself melt into him and I started to cling to his arm for support. His kiss was superb and my breathing grew heavy instantly. Without one doubt I wanted him and I knew this was not going to be a mistake but a mortal sin. All these months of talking and it was being paid in this one night with him.
My legs wanted to buckle beneath me, he somehow removed my sweater and tossed it aside. I felt his hands feeling me and roaming downward. I was taken aback when he shoved his hand straight down my jeans. I reacted with my hand to his arm trying to stop him.
“No,” was all he said firmly to me. My hand hesitantly let go and we resumed consuming each other through our mouths. I felt vulnerable with him as he searched for my hardening clit and my body shifted into his as I moaned into his mouth. I felt like a slut knowing I was already wet in my black panties. My jeans were slipping down my hips we hadn’t said a full sentence to each other and my clothes were falling off me. How can this be?
His hand snaked out from between my legs and jeans. He pulled my jeans up over my hips and turned my body towards the bedroom. I felt like I was walking to my death down the dimly lit hallway into the bedroom. He followed behind me and I felt his eyes burning into my backside. I walked slowly to the foot of the bed. I noticed one light on and the curtains were opened a good foot. More fear flooded my mind, people could see us, people could see us fucking.
I stood there timid and shy. I couldn’t stare into his eyes yet. I felt like a virgin, I felt untouched and I relied on him to lead me.
“Off,” in another firm tone with me. I knew what this meant. My jeans fell to the floor, my panties followed and my shirt went over my head. He stood in front of me as I sat on the bed trying to cover my exposed flesh.
He had unfastened his belt. “Off,” I heard again and I knew as my hands met the button of his pants. I could see his hard on pushing the material towards me. I pulled his pants down and then his boxers. I saw his large cock erect in front of me.
His head flinched as he looked at the head of the bed and I pushed myself on to the bed as he towered himself above me and between my legs. My heart pounded in my chest and I knew this was the point of no return. This was going to be the unforgivable act. The bedside light was casting a guilty spotlight into my face and for the first time I starred into his eyes. My arms embraced his naked back and he pushed his cock inside of me. My eyes closed as I felt his unfamiliar motion.
“Open your eyes,” he whispered. My lids fluttered and my eyes started to roll as his full length was deep inside of me and thrusting. My nails were digging into his back. “Watch the nails”, he hissed. My arms pushed to the bed and above my head. I remember I knocked the phone off the hook and it didn’t matter as he fucked me. I squirmed beneath him helpless. He drilled into me and I felt him shudder above my flesh as his cock released inside of my cunt. At that very moment it dawned on me I let this man cum inside of me completely bare.
Slowly he pulled out of me and fell beside of me. I could feel his cum starting to seep out of me and I wanted to touch it. Instead I laid there panting and catching my breath. My body was in a mist of sweat.
“Hello,” he said to me with a smile as he starred at me.
I smiled and responded with, “hello” breathlessly.
I cannot count the number of times we engaged in the union of our flesh. He made a remark that I “was a squirmy fuck”. He had to remind me not to scratch up his back repeatedly and every time we fucked he came inside of me. I remember in the midst of one fuck I whispered for him to “hurt me” and I am not certain if he heard me. I remember falling asleep with a swollen and raw cunt. Yet I couldn’t get enough of him. I wanted him over and over.
When the sun pushed through the drapes I saw him laying on his side in a sea of white sheets. My hair was knotted and my flesh was flushed warm. I laid my head on his hip and dragged my lips across his skin. His left hand reached for me and I held it and I remember starring at his wedding band. I think it was that point that I became so fascinated and turned on by the sight of a wedding band on a man’s finger. I closed my eyes and fell back asleep.
Since calmness had resonated inside of me he took me one last time in the morning light. I clung to him for my life as I felt I was falling. But I had already fallen long before this encounter. We ate breakfast talking like old friends about our family and job. I kept starring at the glasses that he wore and I wanted him all over again. I can still see how his lips wrapped around a strawberry and bit into it. I can still hear his voice so clearly.
We showered separately and continued small conversation as we dressed. I sat on foot of the bed as he sat across from me with a grin upon his face. It made me blush that he starred at me so focused. He stood up, took my hand and I followed him through the hallway. He stopped and turned to me “thank you”, whispered from his lips as he bent down to kiss me. I grabbed the long sleeve of his dress shirt as I gave the last bit of myself to him.
It was in the cab ride to the airport when I cried and it was not from guilt.
Yes, I loved him.
Yes, I fell and flat on my face.
Yes, I would do it all over again…with him.