That Poly Thing

I’m amused at the reaction of folks when they find out we’re a poly household with children.

If I got a dollar every time someone said, “That’s the way to do it. Outnumber the kids,” I’d have enough money to buy our house.

I always wonder about the questions they don’t ask. It’s an amusing game to play.

“Do they all sleep together in the same bed?” (No.)

“Do the two guys have sex?” (No.)

“Do you have sex with other people?” (Yes.)

“What about the children?” (We don’t have sex with children.)

Surprisingly I got a taste of the unasked questions a few weeks ago while talking to my mom. I had had dinner with my ex-wife. Although our break-up was a sad time for me, it wasn’t bitter, and we remain friends, and just friends, to this day. Every now and then we hang out together to catch up. I told my mom during a phone call that we’d had dinner the night before.

“Mmmm-hmmm, ” she said in a long drawn out way.

“Mom, we’re just friends,” I said in as neutral a way as I could.

“Well, you know, your focus needs to be on those babies.”

“No shit, mom,” I thought. “Of course it is,” is what I said.

It was the first time that she had even put voice to the question that I had lovers. However, she never asked the obvious follow-up question. Either she didn’t think about or didn’t want to know that I did have other lovers. Maybe she just still has venom for the woman who broke her baby boy’s heart (hee, luv ya Ande).

I guess the obvious question for me is why I just don’t tell her. She already knows I’m poly, right?

Well, to be frank, my sex life is none of her business. I love my parents dearly, and if she asked I wouldn’t lie to her, but I’m not gonna volunteer answers to questions she doesn’t want to ask.

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