Take. Me. Now.
I worked all day. I do hard work. And today, I worked hard ALL day. I started early and ended late. I wrote multiple progress notes, emails and other paperwork this morning. I did 3 hours of supervision with therapists in the afternoon. At the end of my day, I drove 20 miles to a meeting where I helped a social worker, a legal guardian, and two therapists realize that sending a kid to foster care before sending him home to his legal guardian to be reunified with her was a bad idea. It only took 2 an a half hours to get them to realize this. That’s all. Seems like more than my share today, right? After only 5 hours of sleep because I spent the night with one of my lovers. However, today, while driving home exhausted to pick up my kids from the babysitter and put them to sleep, I realized I am in charge. A LOT. At work, at home, in sports, with the kids, everywhere! And it’s a lot of work!
I recently was at a party and met a man. His first words to me were “You are a Bad Ass.” Wow. I know that, but how did he know that? Haha. He said it was because he could see it in me. He didn’t even know me, but he could see it in me. He spoke of the balance in me between the masculine and the feminine. This was very validating to me. It resonated with my being when he said it. I viscerally felt the balance when he spoke the words. He also talked about working to balance his masculine with more feminine. And wanting a partner who could match that in him. Of course, he was talking life partners, and since I have one, it was not me he was seeking. But it intrigued me when he spoke about the act of “taking” a strong woman like myself and how that submission would be amazing. I was tempted to show him.
The concept of being “taken” by a man is such a turn on for me, that surrender, relenting. I have been in charge of my own life since I was a teenager. I put myself through college and always took care of myself financially and otherwise. Currently I am the main breadwinner in my family, have two kids to care for and have a position in my agency where after only 3 yrs, I am 2nd in command in my department, supervising other therapists. I am just naturally inclined to be in charge. So in my sexual relationships, I am drawn to guys who want to be in charge of me. I love the primal stuff-hair pulling, neck biting, firm pressure of a hand on my chest, even my neck, and hard rough sex from behind while he pushes me down on the bed, even holding my arms above my head. Mmmmmm…. I love the surrender, the opening up to him and letting him have his way with me. Now don’t get me wrong, I am no starfish on the bed. (You know what I mean there too, right?!?! Just laying there like a dried out starfish on the beach? Yeah. You know.) I like to actively participate, but god, its a turn on when a guy forces me to submit.
In the end I decided that I would have made a great cave woman. Strong enough to get up daily in order to walk miles to get water; gather, grow and cook the food; birth, raise and protect the children; make the clothes and tend to the cave; even do some minor hunting when needed. However, after all that during the day, I would still be hot, wet and ready to be taken when the man comes home, throws down his fresh kill, pulls me by my hair to the cave, yanks off my pelts, throws me on the furs, bites my neck and nipples and shows me how tough he is with his big, hard cock. Now that is a sexy mama.