Summer break is killing Mom’s libido…
Last night I allowed my six year old son (who is turning seven on June 24th) to travel from West Virginia, where I live, to North Carolina, where his aunt and uncle live, with his nineteen year old cousin. He’s made the trip a million times before, and my niece is always super responsible with him and with the laws of the road, but him making this trip- as he has every summer since before he was potty trained-to visit his aunt and uncle made me realize two things…
Number one, I’m getting OLD because his birthday is coming quickly and also because I have clothes older than he is, including a very worn and dog eared fuzzy, hot pink bathrobe that I’m actually wearing while I type this.
Number two, summer is finally here, and I didn’t even see it coming. When did winter fade into spring and spring melt into summer? Where was I? No one asked my permission for this to happen! lol.
For parents, I think that the onset of summer means a lot of things. Cookouts, holidays, visiting relatives, the beach, the tanning bed maybe, camping trips, fishing, and kids being home all summer screaming, “MOM! I’m bored. I need something to dooooooo,” at the tops of their tiny lungs. When your children are little, before preschool, you may not have given summer a second thought. It just sorta shows up and your routine flexes to involve more outdoor time and extra water and juice breaks. However, when the kids get a little bit older, start school, and begin having a “summer break” every year, things change for you.
And the first thing that changes is your sex life, whether you really think about it logically or not. We all know and agree that stress can drastically affect your sexual involvement with partners and yourself, and summer means stress for parents of school aged children.
During the summer, I’m lucky to get a shower that lasts longer than twenty minutes, much less have normal sex- either alone or with someone else-because there are always a million things running through my head. I’m serious. I have begun having entire conversations with myself in my own head while in the shower, while washing dishes, while loading the washing machine-you get the picture. But, to humor you, it goes something like this:
Hmm, I’ll bet there are little bits of busted water balloons all over the yard and if I don’t pick it up before sunrise, the kids will just add more to it when they wake up. Oh, crap. I can’t go outside in the dark and do it cause the outside light bulb blew last night while I was cleaning the grill from dinner. Note to self, buy light bulbs. Another note to self, no more water balloons. Where’d the dog go? Did I let her out? What time is it? *Rinses hair* Hey-I have five minutes before they get up! I can get my vibrator!! *Pulls open shower curtain*…..”Mom, I have to pee,” I then hear the voice of my four year old who is dragging his blanket all through the house looking for me and finally found where I was hiding…End of conversation with self and all hopes of having a decent orgasm.
I’m sure that many of you can identify with this example of a conversation that I’ve had with myself a million times. I’m convincing myself that I’m not the only one who is overjoyed at the thought that she doesn’t have to run to the bus stop a million times a day for the kids and spend hours each night helping with homework, but slightly miffed at the fact that finding time for her usual bedroom romps is getting a little more difficult thanks to the schools letting out for summer.
Keeping the kids busy is a big tool for finding time for yourself. While it may take a little bit of planning and extra oooomph from mom and/or dad, it’s well worth it. Plan, plan, plan! Buy lots of fruit pops for your freezer. Stock cabinets with kid friendly snacks, more than usual, and plan trips to the library, to the park, to Grandma’s house, to wherever. While all this planning is fun and sometimes educational for your kids, it also keeps them moving and off the couch, meaning they just might sleep better at night so that you can do whatever it takes to keep those heels digging into your mattress and your libido right where it needs to be. The extra energy is well worth it.
If you run out of ideas for activities, check out the local newspapers in your area. Sometimes there are ads for programs or readings at the libraries listed in there. You never know what you might find. Um, or you could try asking your kids what they would like to do this summer. As long as no one requests to visit Mars and take over, I think you might come up with some fun things to do together that way.
Library trips are awesome, though. That’s my number one pick of summer activities because you never know what you might find there. And I’m not saying that because I’m an author and like to see my books on display-although, every time I’m at my own local library, it brings me a Cheshire Cat-like smile every single time…In seriousness, no more jokes, the library is a place where you can keep your tot’s reading abilities sharpened and also teach them a lot of important skills. Like how to be quiet when they don’t really want to and how to listen.
Now that I’ve almost discovered where to squeeze in a little bit of time for sex and masturbation while working around my summer break schedule, I think I should work on finding a place to squeeze in some more me time through my busy work schedule. I am an author or co-author of about three blogs, run two websites, am writing three books at once (no joke), and I also write articles here and write adult toy reviews.
No one on earth can balance it all perfectly. That includes me and you and everyone else on this over crowded planet called Earth. Good luck!
Happy Squeeze-It-In-Where-You-Can Fucking!