In making way for her uterus to turn itself inside out, make a fresh new cave-home for a someday-baby, her body, aching, had widened. I breathed in the tangy metallic smell of her, filled with minerals, with rich, thick life, and I wanted to touch it. I wanted to reach inside her, feel the heat of her working parts, massage the ache away from the inside.
But she said her guts were falling out and she didn’t want to make a mess.
I wanted to feel that mess slipping and sliding in my fingers, wanted to see it spread over her thighs, wanted to leave fingerprints along her skin, so we could trace the path of where we’d been. I started at her eyelids and kissed my way down her body. I gave her belly extra kisses, covering every bit of skin from hip to hip, ribs to belly button and below.
She told me to go get a towel.
Fuck mess. I chose white.