Sexy Mama: An Interview with Madison Young

If you haven’t heard the news, Madison Young (one of our favorite kinky girls) is 5 months pregnant! When I heard, I was thrilled for her personally. And I was also excited to ask her about her experiences with pregnancy and her career as part of the GV Sexy Mama series.

When women in the industry find out they’re pregnant, they often shift their career plans. Not always- Belladonna is a notable exception. What are your plans at this point around that? What prompted you to make the decisions that you have?

I’ve worked very hard to build the career that I have in the adult industry and as a sex positive activist. I plan to continue that body of work once my daughter is born.  I feel like more than ever I’m motivated in my life and prioritizing the most important elements of my career.  Even through this pregnancy its allowed me to make some very important and strategic deciscions around my businesses.  I think having my daughter will allow me to be an even more effective activist and entrepreneur  with a new sense of clarity for my businesses and a new found love and passion for my child.

After the birth of my daughter I plan to continue to direct films, teach workshops, and work on my writing. I have 4 book projects in the works, including working on two pieces for anthologies, one guide to sex & pregnancy, and further work on shopping my memoir to publishers.  I plan on putting my main career concentration in this area for the first year after the birth.  I also have several new web sites that will be launching in the next couple months which I will be managing the content for as the Madison Bound Network of web sites expands.

I’ll also be continuing my work as the Executive Director of Femina Potens and curating programming for our organization.  We have a lot of upcoming changes (including a change in location) slotted for this new year at Femina Potens.   I will return to modeling and performing as well but will be taking a break from performing from December 2010 to June of 2011.  I have plans to resume my travel schedule in late May but will be modifying my travel and not traveling as frequently.  I don’t plan on doing further International travel for work until 2012 at the earliest.

Pregnant with Desire is an amazing movie about sex and pregnancy. How did making it affect how you feel about being pregnant? Do you have different insight into sex & pregnancy after making the movie?

Working in the adult industry, I haven’t had a lot of experience and exposure to women during pregnancy until the project Pregnant with Desire.  Directing this film was incredibly enlightening and such a beautiful experience for me.  I really learned so much about the power and ultimate feminine energy that radiated from these women.  I learned so much about how their bodies changed, their desires, their connection, their fierce sexuality, their body knowledge, and the complexity of their identities as they embraced their sexual and nurturing energies.

I’ve definitely watched Pregnant with Desire several times since becoming pregnant in a different light now that my body is changing and morphing.  I’ve really picked up the film and relate to it on a whole new level now that I’m pregnant.  Its super hot and educational and super helpful in regards to positions, first hand experiences, and even incorporating kink into pregnancy in a safe way.

What do you plan to tell your child about your work? What do you plan to tell teachers or other parents?

I plan to be honest and open with my daughter about sex and my work in the sex industry. I want for my child to know that the work that I do is empowering to many women and that it helps couples and individuals to discover a sense of pleasure, that I’m an educator and an artist, a film maker and gallerist.   I want for our child to feel open to communicate and ask me questions. And I think I’ll have to figure out along the way exactly what answers fit for what age, but I don’t ever want to hide who I am from my daughter.  I’ve always been honest and open with the rest of my family through communicating in their language and I plan to do the same with our new addition.   Id like to have a household where bodies and individuality are celebrated not shamed.  That’s really important to me.

With regard to teachers and parents, I plan on being open about who I am.  The first year that I started performing in porn, I was still working part time as a montessori teacher, teaching theater games to children.  I had only shot for a dozen or so sites with in that first year and I only had maybe 3 or 4 months that I continued working at the school while I was in porn, but in that time I had 2 of the children’s fathers recognize me from porn sites.  And that was at the begining of my porn career almost 9 years ago.

If you “out” yourself and do so with dignity and educate others around the realities of the work you do then it becomes much less exciting to gossip about than if it is something that you are trying to keep secret.  Besides, Annie Sprinkle and Elizabeth Stephens, are going to be my daughter’s chosen Grandparents.  If you have me, James Mogul, Annie Sprinkle, and Elizabeth Stephens in the front row of my daughter’s dance recital or xmas pageant chances are that some people in the audience are going to have a clue as to who we are and most likely someone in the audience has probably seen at least one of us in an erotic film before.

A lot of moms-to-be and their partners experience challenges around sexuality during pregnancy. Do you have any advice for them? Has there been something you’ve found especially helpful?

During pregnancy there are a lot of changes that happen to your body.  I really wasn’t aware of just how much your body really changes not just in physical appearance but your circulation, the amount of blood your pumping, exhaustion, during the first trimester nausea and heartburn, constantly having to pee, intensely sensitive breasts, immense hormonal changes, and nutritional needs changing. In the second trimester becoming limited in how you can work out, how you can fuck, not lying on your back, not lying on your belly, and just everything changes.

But as these physical and hormonal changes happen the ways that you enjoy sex can change and improve as well.  One of the really hot and amazing things that I’ve enjoyed about sex during pregnancy is that there is more blood engorged in your labia so penetration can feel incredibly amazing and can be quite orgasmic even with out clitoral stimulation.

During the first trimester my breasts were much too tender for much play but into the second trimester they continue to grow, are still sensitive, but become welcoming to touch and it can feel incredibly sensuous and orgasmic to have someone playing with them.

My cunt tastes like a cookie.  Our cunts change flavor and smell over the course of pregnancy but tend to be much sweeter which can be delightful for our partners or to taste myself off of my partner’s cock.  It must be all the fruit that women crave during pregnancy.  I thought I might be imagining this cookie cunt flavor and then also found sex writer Susie Bright writing about how her cunt also tasted like cookies during pregnancy.

Sensuous sensations feel amazing right now in my second trimester as opposed to biting sensations. Example of this is a silk or bamboo rope is really delicious to my flesh right now when normally I crave a toothy jute rope or hemp rope.

For women that are not feeling well during their pregnancy and want to keep intimacy in their relationship, I encourage having your partner give you a massage or enjoying the hot wax soy massage candles that Good Vibrations carries.  This is a sensuous activity that can feel luxurious and intimate when you aren’t feeling your best.

Reading erotica to your partner or practicing your dirty talk skills is a great way to keep the fire going or to kindle a flame when you are finding a hard time locating your libido in your new body.

Lingerie shopping with your partner.  Go shopping for some sexy new lingerie with your partner.  You are going to need some new bras anyways.  Find lingerie or slips that make you feel sexy and sensuous in your new and developing body.  This will also be a huge turn on and foreplay for your partner.

How has BDSM changed for you in the last few months?

I practice bdsm both in my personal and professional life.  Just as my body is changing, I’ve needed to make some adjustments in regards to my kink life as my pregnancy progresses.  During the first trimester, I was able to continue my rope bondage suspension performances but was advised against suspension performance in my 2nd trimester by my doctor.  Suspension rope bondage generally is quite constricting to your blood flow.  Since your blood flow really starts to change in your second trimester, its not advised to engage in any rope bondage that really interferes with your circulation, as it’s not just the circulation or your blood but the blood that you are sharing with your growing little one.

I’ll resume my suspension performances and personal suspension play again after the birth and when I feel that my body is ready and recuperated.  I’ve found that silkier ropes feel better for play at this point in my pregnancy.  Nipple clamps are something that I’ve cut out of my play at this point due to the increased sensitivity of my breasts and nipples, although now that I’m in my 2nd trimester I think that tweezer nipple clamps might be nice.

Spankings, paddlings, and canings on my ass and thighs still feel great and have been a continued part of my play.  I have modified some of my positions of receiving these types of play though, such as switching from over the knee spankings(where my uterus is pressed up against my partners knees) to lean over a table ( where I can put more of my body weight on my arms and chest)  I’ve also continued to enjoy my immense love for puppy play and that has been something that has been easy to carry over into the pregnancy.

Will you continue to do bondage scenes (either in private life or on camera) while pregnant? If so, what does your doctor recommend?

I’m 5 months into my pregnancy at this point and have continued to keep bdsm as a part of my lifestyle.  Due to company regulations I haven’t been able to work as a submissive on screen during my pregnancy but will potentially shoot a scene for my company during my pregnancy that integrates bdsm during my pregnancy.  I am talking with Dave Naz about doing a spread for Taboo in November during my pregnancy though.

I have a really amazing sex positive open minded doctor that is knowledgable about my work.  She has advised against rope suspension performance at this point in the pregnancy and I’ve taken her advice.  I’ve been discussing what bdsm activities are ok during pregnancy and what needs to be modified, with midwives, doulas, doctors, nurses and women in the kink community that have practiced bdsm during pregnancy.

Does your body react to stimulation differently while pregnant? Any surprises?

Certain areas of my body are highly senstive and require simply a light grazing of a hand or tongue in order to set me off into an orgasmic state.  My breasts and labia are highly sensitive.  It was really surprising to find that I could  achieve multiple orgasms from solely vaginal penetration, which is quite different from my usual clitoral preference.  Also I had no idea that my nipples would become so incredibly sensitive.  I’m used to clamping a couple pounds of weights on my nipples and loving the heavy weight on my nipples.  But now my nipples really need a lighter touch.  I think something that has been a bit surprising for me is feeling like I know my body so well and what it likes and doesn’t like and during pregnancy a lot of those things flip upside down.

While I still indulge in my masochistic side, I have a more sensuous element of my sexual identity that is also developing which is fun to play with in a totally different way.

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Dr. Charlie Glickman

Charlie Glickman is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. He also writes, blogs, teaches workshops and university courses, presents at conferences, and trains sexuality educators. He’s certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and loves geeking out about sex, relationships, sex-positivity, love and shame, communities of erotic affiliation, and sexual practices and techniques of all varieties. Follow him online, on Twitter at @charlieglickman, or on Facebook.

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