Sexually Humbling

I can’t remember the last time I couldn’t come at will. I can’t remember when I was concerned about ever coming again and yet I was faced with that for a whole 24 hours.

My brain had been sent through the wringer the previous two weeks and my usual “fix” for such problems was to simply have copious amounts of sex; let the stress escape through my orgasms and moans.

Friday had finally reared its slow head and I was anxious to see him. It had been two full weeks and my mind was weary. I was a little nervous because the previous weekend I had attempted to masturbate on my own and the two weak orgasms I had pushed from my body were less than satisfactory. In fact, they were very disappointing. But as I drove, I tried to clear my mind of silliness and I thought it would all be cured the moment he put his hands on me…in me.

When he crawled into bed all I could think was, “what if I don’t want this?” and we kiss. I wanted it. I wanted him. I was nervous. I was wet. I felt my body aroused. I felt my mind is not following suit and I started to worry. He had his fingers in me, it felt good and I felt the climb but nothing. He was worked up and I was almost panicked. He crawled on top of me to fuck me and I wanted to stop him but maybe his cock would fix this.

No.

We fucked, he came and I felt nothing. It was the first time I felt like a frigid woman. I didn’t come with him. I didn’t have a throbbing cunt aching to be played with more afterward.

“Did you come?” He asked between breaths.

“No,” I whispered.

I turned over and the lights went out. I cried and it was fear taking over me. What happened? What was wrong with me? I thought, maybe sleep will clear my mind and morning sex would obviously solve the problem.

Morning came and the same thing happened. We played, I got wet but I couldn’t come. I would feel myself climb but I couldn’t push over the edge. I got frustrated and we stopped. We went about our day. I do believe we had played four separate times without me achieving one orgasm. I would get aroused and my body would respond but my mind had this mental damn that would not budge.

I texted with a very close friend and she wrote something on the lines of, “This is truly proof how mental you are.” and she was right.

I was desperate and went for a desperate measure…I decided to try porn. I found a small three-minute clip of a young woman getting fucked and a cock in the mouth while tied up bent over. I felt the arousal and I felt my mind soak in the sights and sounds.

He came into bed with me and I wanted him. I wanted to get rid of the last 24 hours. This time I felt I was myself again. I felt aroused and at the very moment he slipped his fingers inside me I came. My mind unraveled and I felt like an animal let out of a cage. I clawed at him, bit him and grabbed him. I tried to swallow him whole. My body wanted those 24 hours back. I couldn’t get enough of him and this was more than ever before. I left him exhausted and his back was a wreck.

“Did you?” He asked again.

“Yes, couldn’t you tell?” I said panting.

“I just wanted to make sure,” he replied with a smile.

“I guess porn did the trick,” I said.

So, in short, when in doubt…watch porn.

Photo Credits:
Photography by: C.H.S. Regime
Model: Kayla-Jane Danger

Dark Gracie

Dark Gracie is a widely read sex writer, blogger, and deviant extraordinaire with a cult-like following. She gets up close and personal approaching sexuality with her trademark fallen-from-grace humor that entices readers. Her work has appeared in Fleshbot, Sex and the 405, BohoCrush, Conversextion.com, Safeword Magazine and published in Erotica Diaries & Mayhem Magazine.

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