Sex on Film

In honor of Lady Porn Day, which is February 22nd, I want to step away from discussions about other people’s porn. There’s a lot to be said in the world of porn about representation and ethical treatment, but lots of people will be talking about that aspect today, and I want to talk about something different.

I want to talk about why I like having sex on film.

One huge reason I love photographing or filming the sex I have is because I love flicking through it later. The memories are precious, especially when we’re apart (and considering I live in San Francisco and the boy lives in London, we’re apart often enough). I love the pornography we’ve made together- mostly photographic for now, though I anticipate more video to come now that I have a flip camera! We’ve done erotic shoots with friends, during sex with other lovers, and of course when it’s just the two of us. I get off on having a camera in my hand when the boy is on his knees at my feet looking up at me adoringly… though I always have to be careful with my lubey hands!

It’s not just for the memories, though. As a sex worker I tend to have galleries of sexy photos that clients can pay to have a flick through. I make it a point to have those photos always be taken by lovers or with lovers (with their consent, obviously). I find the photos are better for not being staged, it doesn’t create this false idea of what I look like or what I find sexy, and the clients actually love seeing me really enjoying myself with people I love and find hot. I’ve been delighted to find that this idea that clients only want perfectly coiffed, heavily made up, slender, big titted blondes to be completely false- they love being allowed to glimpse into my real sex life, and I’m happy to show them. Not just because I’m an exhibitionist, but because I’m dedicated to closing the social divide between sex workers and everyone else. I want to say to these clients “hey, look, sometimes the lube gets everywhere, lipstick gets smeared, I get a double chin, he’s not completely erect- it’s ok, it’s fun anyway!” And I do, and am generally pretty successful with that approach.

Additionally, because I’m a hot fat girl, and a queer femme, I find it incredibly important to document my sexual escapades. I do get frustrated at the lack of variety and diversity in porn- so my response is to make my own! And I encourage everyone reading this to do the same- even if it’s just for you, it can be a sexy experience to watch yourself having an orgasm or having your strap on sucked. And the more you put these images out there, the wider the range of images people see, and the better the reflection of actual sex.

And real sex with real people is hot!

For more great posts about Ladyporn Day, check Rabbit Write’s page out.

Kitty Stryker

Kitty Stryker is a geeky sex worker, Burner, rabid writer and feminist activist with one high-heeled boot in San Francisco, California and one in London, England. In London, Stryker worked with the TLC Trust, an online organization connecting people with disabilities with sex workers experienced with emotional or physical limitations. She is the founder of the award-winning Ladies High Tea and Pornography Society, and was nominated by the Erotic Awards as Sex Worker of the Year for her charity and activism work. Now back in the States, Stryker has been presenting Safe/Ward, a workshop on combating entitlement culture within alternative sexual communities, along with being the PR rep for the Bay Area Sex Workers Outreach Project promoting sex worker rights. She has written for Huffington Post, Filament, and Tits and Sass, built a social media strategy for Cleis Press, and consults with sex workers about their online presence. In her copious free time, she enjoys switching things up with her two hot lovers. Read more from Stryker on her personal blog, Purrversatility.

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