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Sex Isn’t The Same Since My C-Section!

Dear Jaiya,

Hello I heard about you guys from the Tiffany Granath show. The one show I listened to was a while back¦and I was AMAZED by your energy, your words, and your personality. My issue is I get these amazing orgasms if i have it clitoral, but vaginally I feel no sensation after my c section, it almost feels like a cold, numb, burn. Not that it is so painful that I can’t keep going, but do you have any tricks to help with circulation or achieving an orgasm vaginally? I can feel my partner¦ inside me¦ and I can feel my walls move and be in control if I try to grip him, when he’s penetrating me I know he’s there, but the sensations are not like it use to be after my c section. I have massive amount of nerve damage too because of the c section…  I am big on natural for the body. Thank you for your time.

Cheers!
L

L,

It just so happens that I am working on my Ph.D. on the topic of Postpartum Sexuality, especially pertaining to helping women reclaim and regain full pleasure and function.  If you know my own story, you may remember that I too lost sensation, had pinching and burning, and even severe pain as a result of a tear I had during the birth of my son.  My quick and miraculous recovery after working with a fellow Sexlogical Bodyworker named Ellen Heed, excited me so much that we conducted a year of research on scar tissue from c-sections, episiotomies, and vaginal tearing.

You can get your sensation back!  There is so little information about working with scar tissue, so I am happy that you found me.  From what you write it sounds like scar tissue is at the root of the problem (and also some nerve issue, which could be related to scar tissue as well).  The words “cold, numb and burn” are exactly the words that women use to describe the feeling that they have as a result of scarring.  One of the biggest surprises in our research is that many women with lack of sensation and vaginal pain actually had c-sections.  Depending on the type of c-section you had and how you were stitched back together the scar may have varied effects.

Here are a few suggestions to help you work with the scar and regain sensation:

1) Locate the scar tissue- You will be able to visibly see the scar from the c-section incision, but inside your vagina you will have to feel for it.  It usually feels like blue berry chunks or like little tight strings that give a pulling, burning or pinchy sensation when touched.  Place a well lubricated finger inside of your vagina and feel for the scar tissue.

2) Massage the Scar- When I worked on my scars Ellen recommended using Castor Oil to help break up the scar tissue.  I put castor oil on a tampon and placed it inside my vagina. I also massaged the scars daily with castor oil.  Apply castor oil to the scar tissue, then use your fingertip to massage small circles over the scar.  You can also massage the c-section scar directly.

3) Sensitize and Strengthen Your Vagina-  In her book Ending Female Pelvic Pain, Isa Herrera recommends using vaginal dilators, which are basically medical terminology for dildos in increasingly larger sizes.   You can stretch your vaginal tissue as well as contract around the dildo to help strengthen.  Play with developing your sensitivity through the use of textured dildos and a variety of sizes.  Explore your G-spot and Perineal Sponge (located between the vagina and the anus).  If you have a nerve issue you may need to see someone who specializes in Sexological Bodywork or a doctor who understands a natural approach.

Reclaiming your pleasure after a c-section is possible, but it does take some education.  Unfortunately there is so little information available.  That is why Ellen Heed and I created the course RSVP (Reclaiming Sexual Vitality Postpartum), so that women like you can regain full pleasure.  To find out more about our course visit www.reclaimsex.com.  It will be launched later this year!

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Allison

Allison is a tall, queer, femme from Ottawa, Canada. A writer of erotic poetry and prose, she has performed in Radical Vulvas and is a member of the erotic live-lit troupe Honeyed Tongues. Her work has appeared in Vagina Dentata, Venus in Scorpio, the Bywords Quarterly Journal, and at GKE.

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