Sex Educator Profiles: Martha Lee
What led you to become a sex educator?
I was personally curious about learning more about sex because I did not receive any sex education growing up in Singapore. I missed out on biology completely because I was in the Arts stream. The compulsory annual school assemblies I attended through my secondary school were on why women bled monthly and how we young ladies have to pay particular attention to personal hygiene.
I saw that there was a sore lack of trained sex educators in Singapore. Surely there was more to understanding sex and sexuality than of protecting against sexually transmitted infections (STIs), making babies and getting your period! This was why I decided to pursue a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and am now a trained Clinical Sexologist.
The best thing about my job is seeing the glimmer of hope on the faces of clients, reignite the sparkle of light in their eyes and of course, helping them overcome their sexual difficulties and consequently achieve a more fulfilling life.
What kinds of sex education do you offer?
I offer one-to-one or one-to-two (couples) sex coaching. I also run sex education workshops as well as speak at events.
How did you start giving sex advice?
I started doing so with my immediate circle of girl friends. I soon realized how easy and fulfilling it was to share of my knowledge and how there should be more dialogue about sex and sexuality.
Where did you get your education in sexuality?
I received my Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, USA. I also have a certificate in sex therapy from Florida Sex Therapy Institute, Florida, USA. In addition, I have had separate training in counseling and coaching and combine these disciplines in my practice.
What do you love about giving sex advice?
The knowledge that I am able to significantly improve one’s quality of life through sex education.
What is your most common question?
A lot of people, even complete strangers, ask within seconds of knowing me about the ˜normal’ frequency of sex for couples. We are individuals, and have different levels of sexual needs, desires, and preferences.
Who was my most interesting client? Or what was my most interesting case study?
Everyone is unique, different and interesting to me. Also all client information is confidential.
What is your favorite sex toy or product and why? (this can be a personal preference or something that you like to suggest to clients)
My favorite sex toy is the vibrating ˜Egg‘ or ˜Bullet‘. It is small, discreet, non-intimidating for those new to sex toys and can be just as effective for outer play as inner play. Most models come with an intensity control and pulsation choices.
How do you think your website is different from others out there?
I believe my website is the first of its kind offering the types of sex coaching services and sex education workshops in Singapore.
Where do you teach? If you travel, what is it like? Where was your favorite place to teach? Most unusual panel or experience?
Singapore. I am open to the possibilities of traveling to neighboring Asian countries, and am in fact in some preliminary discussions.
What was the most interesting thing you learned in your exploration of sex?
Did you know it was possible to feel sexual arousal without sexual desire? Women blame their lower sexual desire for the lack of sexual activity in their lives. However there is the possibility that when you incorporate more touch in your life, you are going to get more aroused and have more sex in your life.
How has what you’ve done or found at Good Vibrations helped you?
Good Vibrations has paved the way for men and women, especially women, to realize and learn about the infinite possibilities and diversity revolving around sex and sexuality. I just wished there were more sex-positive sex shops where people could browse and feel comfortable visiting in Singapore.
What would be your number one piece of advice for someone interested in a career of sex education?
Think twice. Is this something you want to do because there is nothing else you can see yourself doing? Or do you think you want to do it because of the attention, fame, and infinite oodles of money that might come your way? If it’s the former, do inner work. Become the beacon of light, love and hope for the people who will seek you out.
What’s the best thing you’ve learned or best advice you’ve received?
My all-time favorite quote is this: “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot. – Eleanor Roosevelt
I don’t allow fear to stop me from the work I am meant to be doing.
What do you think is the biggest misconception about sex?
It is not just about the duration of the penile-vaginal penetration. There is a huge fixation on performance and lasting longer in Asia.
Which is your favorite project that you’ve worked on?
I am really proud of the series of workshops called ˜Sexual Self Discovery’ where we explore body image issues and how it affects one’s sense of self and sexuality with women. I am now working to extend it to couples.
What is your best piece of sex advice for women?
A big part of being an empowered woman is taking charge and ownership of your life and this includes your sexual pleasure.
What projects are you working on now?
Rekindling Connections for Couples will be a one-day workshop for couples to look at their other half with a fresh perspective, begin speaking more openly and honestly, and revisit ways they can bring each other pleasure.
Where can people find out more about you?
Facebook: eroscoaching | Twitter: drmarthalee