Sex Educator Profiles: Madison Young
What led you to become a sex educator?
I’ve always been interested in creating community and dialoguing about art and sexuality. I’ve found several ways of making this happen with in my life.
1. By creating Femina Potens, space for community to grow, dialogue and share skills in a sex positive environment.
2. By documenting our sexual culture and showing healthy sexual connection and communication.
3. By writing essays about sexual experiences and my views on such things as Feminism and Submission.
4. By leading and facilitating sexual education dialogues, presentations, and workshops.
Growing up in Ohio there was a lack of sexual pride and lack of education. Sex wasn’t something that people talked about, it was shameful and dirty. In educating others about alternative sexuality and techniques, we are able to demystify and open people up to a new positive way of thinking and talking about sex.
What kinds of sex education do you offer?
I offer both kinky and more vanilla sexual education classes. I teach a workshop on how to make your own pornography and the connection between pornography and activism. I’ve also lead multi media presentations on the discussion of Feminism and Pornography that involve delving into the history and future of porn. I have a deep throating workshop which has been quite popular, a pain processing and visualization workshop for submissives and their partners, and several workshops around negotiations and skill building for submissives.
How did you start giving sex advice?
I think the first workshop that I gave was a G Spot Education workshop that I designed when I was interning at San Francisco’s Queer youth center, LYRIC. I taught that one workshop for a couple of years and then was asked to start teaching kinky workshops from a submissive’s point of view probably 4 years ago. My popularity as a bondage model and adult film performer was a catalyst for others emailing me about teaching workshops at their local kink conventions, sex positive toy stores, and Kinky community centers.
Where did you get your education in sexuality?
Most of my education in sexuality is from having a lot of sex and communicating a lot about sex with my partners. I teach what I know by doing it, and doing it a lot. I also do a lot of sexual research online, in books, other workshops, and videos. I take the information that I learn and make it my own by creating interactive and fun activities for the participants, answering questions, and adding my special techniques that I’ve found work best. I teach what I do whether it is giving a blow job or how to manage the sensation of a whipping.
What do you love about giving sex advice?
I love getting people in a room and helping them to feel comfortable opening up and talking about sex. I think that is the most important part. Helping people to feel comfortable talking about it and confident and enthusiastic in what they are doing. I love to hear from people who have gone to my workshops and tried the techniques I teach at home and seeing the smile on their face as they tell me how much fun they had with their lover/s.
What is your most common question?
Well it depends on what I’m teaching. I get a lot of “how can get my girlfriend to have anal sex?” or “I’m kinky and can’t find community where I live. What do I do?” Location seems to be a huge problem for a lot of people. They feel like the people they are surrounded by don’t understand them or that they are scared to share their wants or needs with others. But the great thing about the technological world that we live in is that there are so many online communities that exist and its really easy to connect with other kinky people that way. I also recommend a “munch” for meeting people. A kinky munch is a dinner or lunch in which kinky people come and have food and talk about being who they are. Its a great way to get to know people and connect to community outside of a play party or workshop environment. Also there are conventions that happen all over the country that you can travel to and meet a lot of amazing people and community. Its a great way to connect to a larger circle of community members.
What is your favorite sex toy or product and why?
I am a huge hitatchi magic wand fan. I’ve given them to partners and to my mother. I love this vibrator. I feel like no other vibrator really stands up to the hitatchi. Every time I do a deep cleaning of my apartment I find another hitatchi. I think we are up to 6 in the house now. I also really love the stainless steel products that N Joy makes. As far as rope I’m a huge fan of BindMe.nl which is located in the Netherlands.
How do you think your book/film/website is different from others out there?
My web site and films are different from what else is out there because I’m always blurring the lines of art and sex. I also really try to find performers that have great chemistry with one another and facilitate a dialogue between them before the shoot. It’s so important for performers to have that moment of communication about their needs and desires. It allows them to open up and become more vulnerable and sexually honest with their on screen partner and with the camera.
Where do you teach? If you travel, what is it like? Where was your favorite place to teach? Most unusual panel or experience?
I teach at Universities, sex positive sex toy stores, kinky community play spaces, kinky conventions, and at my gallery. I do travel quite a bit between my work as a model, director, and educator. My favorite cities to travel and perform in are usually NYC, Seattle, and I had an amazing time touring and performing in Europe this past summer. I’ve found as an educator the most fulfilling areas to teach or present are more rural areas. I had an amazing time leading a multi media presentation on feminism and pornography in Milwaukee at the Tool Shed. It felt really powerful to have a packed house in the midwest. I think coming from the midwest it makes it all the more special for me to go back and try to open people up to talking about sex in a healthy way.
What was the most interesting thing you learned in your exploration of sex?
That even sex positive sexperts have challenges with in their own sex lives at times.
How has what you’ve done or found at Good Vibrations helped you?
Good Vibrations has given me a space as a director to really document our sexual culture and to allow people a place on film to explore their sexual desires in a positive and affirming way. I’ve taken my mom to Good Vibes. She is happy to know I’m directing and teaching workshops for a company that she believes in. And that means a lot to me.
What would be your number one piece of advice for someone interested in a career of sex education?
Start attending workshops, reading every sexual health and education book you can get your hands on – especially Anal Pleasure and Health, and start having a lot of conversations with people about sex. Listen to what they have to say.
What’s the best thing you’ve learned or best advice you’ve received?
1. Breathe – this helps in just about every sexual situation in regards to connection with your partner and creating a flow of energy
2. Use lube that doesn’t have glycerin. Glycerin based lubes make cunts angry.
3. Your hands are the best tool you will ever have. You can fuck with them, you can slap, spank, choke, pull hair and they are nongendered which is nice.
4. Communication is cool.
5. Suck his cock like it is cotton candy and diamonds. This is something that Max Royale told me during one of my first boy girl scenes. And it really helped. The point he was trying to get across is to devour your lover like they are the most precious, sweetest, delicious thing in the world. That enthusiasm and desire translates to total hottness and pleasure for your partner.
What do you think is the biggest misconception about sex?
Hmm.. Well for me I think a big misconception is that because people know that I’m submissive and into kinky sex and they think that is my whole life. I’m not submissive 24/7 and I love to cuddle and have intimate slow vanilla Sunday morning sex just as much as I like to be caned to orgasm.
Which is your favorite project that you’ve worked on?
That is really too vast for me to pick one. I would say Training of O.com would be one of my favorites since it was a 4 day training with my real life dominant and partner. The Tail of a Bondage Model is also very close to me as it is about my break up with my ex and includes a lot of very personal and emotionally charged footage. It was a very cathartic and difficult film for me to produce. Heartland : A Woman’s POV released through Heartcore and Good Releasing is very close to my heart as well as it captures me being me and with my family and is really a documentary of my journey back home but with some really hot sex mixed in. The Fluid series especially Women Redefining Sexuality was really important for me as well. I feel like being a queer woman in a primary relationship with a cisgender man really made life in my queer community some what challenging when James Mogul and I became public about our relationship. I wanted to direct a film that really delved into the women’s identities around sexuality and that showed that we are blurring the lines and that we don’t have to exist in boxes.
What projects are you working on now?
I’m in the midst of editing another Woman’s POV film for Good Releasing and about to go into production for Fluid 3: Women Redefining BDSM. I’m working on launching several new web sites this year and making MadisonBound.com even friendlier for our users. I’m also hard at work at Femina Potens Art Gallery gearing up for our Spring/Summer 2010 programs.
Where can people find out more about you?