Sex Educator Profiles: Cleo Dubois
What led you to become a Sex Educator?
As a teenager, I thought I’d become a philosopher! After my initiation into BDSM, I realized that there was more to our human sexuality than just vanilla sex and there was a lot to discover. An early member of the Society of Janus, only the second BDSM educational organization in the US, I volunteered for everything! Plus I met and married a kinky man who desired other types of input than I liked, and so on. We explored a lot together as well as with others in our “kinky” community. We learn, only then to teach.
How did you start giving BDSM advice?
I was asked to speak at Leather Conferences in the mid/late eighties.
15 years ago, I created my Academy of SM Arts in 1995 as a way to dispel negative myths and false notions about fetish and BDSM. I wanted to empower those drawn to explore their erotic fantasies of consensual powerplay to come out to their partners so they could find as much connection, healing and satisfying sex life including the exploration of their erotic secret desires.
Where did you get your education?
From the Catacombs in San Francisco to volunteering as a bottom at early Janus programs and attending every BDSM class at leather conferences, the community has been my classroom. As the scene was developing here and other metro areas, I was blessed to meet and learn from the pioneers of our lifestyle. I did professional dominance for over 20 years. Leather folks of all sexual orientations, my clients and their many fetishes, as well as my own personal sexual explorations, sure gave me a hands-on education!
What is your favorite sex toy and why?
My hands. Hands are very versatile and always available. Of course, foggers, canes, clamps, ropes do come in handy too.
Where do you teach? If you travel, what is it like? Where was your favorite place to teach?
While I am the CEO of the Academy of SM Arts here in the SF bay area, I do travel and have given classes and offered rituals all over the USA, Canada and abroad. I find the small classes I teach at Good Vibes, turning on people to explore the hidden side of their sexuality involving negotiated power dynamics, to be as exciting as presenting for several hundred leather folks at a conference.
What was the most interesting thing you learned in your exploration of sex?
Turn on for intensity and subtle erotic power exchange is where I live. Exploring taboos is hot and I continue to find very interesting how many men and women have rape fantasies, which I translate as “use me and make me fly desires. Diametrically opposed to rape indeed! Yes rough sex is hot for many and so is service!
How has what you’ve done at Good Vibrations helped you?
It has pointed out to me that a little kink lives in the sexuality of so many and that the exploration of it is a process that takes time, care and good communication skills.
What’s the best thing you’ve learned or best advice you’ve received?
Slow down and breathe. Be in the moment. Go for the energy.
What is your best piece of sex advice for women?
Follow your intuition with erotic games of power exchange. Giving it up is just as empowering as taking control.
What projects are you working on now?
I continue to coach couples in the privacy of my SF Bay Area playspace and the Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensives my Academy of SM Arts offers Men and Women grows ever more popular. Plus, I am sharing my story on Gloria Brame’s Blog as a way to encourage others to be open to the intimacy consensual BDSM play cultivates. My next class at Good Vibes will be geared to reaching more couples new to the scene.
Ah when I have the funds I want to make another film. The Pain Game, my 2000 award wining film has been so well received I want to do another with kinky couples in mind.
Where can people find out more about you?