Sex and Breastfeeding

I remember trying to breastfeed my first child and my husband wanting to have sex. The two were not a good combination. I was tired of feeling like a cow, with a baby attached to my nipples half the day. I was tired of not sleeping, and my husband was tired of not having sex. Let’s not forget the fact that I had a small human attached to me for about 25 hours a day, and didn’t want the larger human anywhere near me; I wanted 5 minutes alone! A shower would have been nice too.

All joking aside, getting back into any sense of normalcy in the bedroom after the upheaval of a new baby is no small feat.  But it is a worthwhile one, and a very much needed one if the baby’s parents are to survive!  Here are some suggestions for getting your groove back in the bedroom.

One, hire a babysitter.  Or your mother.  Or your partner’s mother.  Really, they will be ok, you and your partner survived your mothers, didn’t you? If someone else is responsible for the baby, you and your partner can enjoy a little couple time.  But don’t just run for the nearest flat surface.  Go out, spend quality time together, and communicate.  Your relationship will be better for it.  So will the sex.

Two, remember that your hormones are still out-of-whack.  Your body might not respond to sex as it did before the baby.

Three, respect your breasts.  For the first 30 days or so, if you are breast feeding, they are likely to be very sensitive.  If you get a clogged milk duct or mastitis, very sensitive does not even begin to describe it.  These are very survivable and temporary, so don’t worry, and don’t give up on breast feeding.  Tell your partner if your breasts  are too sensitive to be touched.  It won’t last long.  Keep in mind also, that your partner might be uncomfortable with having sexual contact with your breasts when your baby spends much of the day attached to them.   And when milk comes out of them.

Four, try to find some time to rest.  You’ll both enjoy the sex more if you stay awake.  Alternatively, have sex at lunchtime.

Five, learn to be spontaneous and creative.  The biggest part of this is learning to take advantage of the baby’s nap times, either to have sex, or rest up for sex later on.   The housework can wait, but sleep can not and sex should not.

Oh, and Victoria’s Secret now makes a nursing bra.

What more do you need?  Ok, here’s some more links to help you find something sexy post baby:


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