Sensual Prenatal Massage
Pregnancy brings many discomforts: back pain, fatigue, heartburn, varicose veins, swollen ankles, and more. These are hardly conditions that would make a woman feel like a Sex Goddess, but they often do open us up to the idea of being pampered!
While in the dungeon I’m completely at ease demanding a lengthy foot massage from a client, it’s not something my husband and I regularly do. He’s not a foot fetishist. He actually dislikes the feel of nylon and I usually wear stockings, what with their being sexy as hell! I want the person rubbing my feet to WANT to rub my feet. I want them to drool over the possibility. I want the thought of touching my beautiful little toes to make them hard. He will give other types of massages and I’ll sometimes ask to massage him, but it’s not a big interest for him. He’d rather eat me out and under normal circumstances, I’ll happily take hubby cunnilingus and client massage.
Pregnancy, however, changes that. Being a pregnancy fetishist, my husband is very enthusiastic about touching my swelling body. Though he’s not one for goddess worship, he also seems to enjoy doting on me and, by extension, our unborn child. The only times he asks to massage me are when I mention some sort of muscle pain and when I’m harboring his baby. The massage rituals we’ve worked out around my pregnancy are the source of a lot of bonding and great foreplay.
Healthcare providers often recommend massage as a way to relieve the stresses of pregnancy. The American Pregnancy Association has a great article on prenatal massage that explains the clinical benefits. It also discusses special considerations when looking for a prenatal masseuse, but I’m of the opinion that the best masseuse is a loving partner.
I’m in a birthing class right now, having skipped last time after seeing how easy my mother’s births were and thinking it would be just as easy for me. (Dear god, was I wrong!) A lot of time is spent teaching our partners exactly how we like to be touched. The videos we watch always show partners massaging feet, backs, hands, necks–whatever part of the mama is aching for relieving touch. I have to say, I’m looking forward to lying on a bed, sucking on a popsicle between deep breaths while my husband massages my feet with scented lotion.
Of course there’s no reason to wait for the hospital room or a class to massage a partner. Most of the pregnancy websites rhapsodizing about the benefits of massage specifically reference therapeutic massage, not sensual massage. When going into details about perineal massage, our birthing class instructor even specified that it should be “uncomfortable” and that if it does feel good, “you’re in the wrong place.” What?!
I’ve only been able to find one work available on sensual prenatal massage, a DVD titled Sensual Massage For Pregnancy. It goes into whole body massage as well as pleasurable perineal massage. There’s even an extra feature called “Pleasuring the Pregnant Woman Teachings,” not that my husband needs any help there, but it sounds fun to watch. There’s also a clip of the instructor, Jaiya, having a home birth, though I don’t think I want to follow her plan of masturbating while in labor. There’s something about cumming on a newborn that just makes me uncomfortable. I strongly believe it’s possible to be sex positive while still having a time and a place and with my mom and possibly toddler in the room is not the time or place!
Of course, simply communicating with your partner about what feels good is often enough, but here are a few sensual massage tips:
¢ Use an oil or lotion to help your hands slip over your partner’s skin.
¢ It’s much more pleasant to be massaged when your skin is warm, so be cozy before starting. Being wrapped in nice warm blankets fresh from the dryer often provides me with motivation to do laundry.
¢ Most pregnant women prefer slow, firm, gentle massage, but ask for feedback.
¢ For female genital massage, be sure you’re using a lubricant that is safe for internal use. Extra virgin (ha!) olive oil will work just fine, though you’ll smell a bit like fried food.
When we think of massage, sensual or therapeutic, we tend to imagine being nude, perhaps with a towel draped over our more interesting parts. I’m a fan of massage that incorporates stripping. I like the feel of my husband’s hands sliding around my body to pull off a skirt, of his fingers hooking into my stockings to draw them down my legs. And who doesn’t enjoy the adolescent thrill of having your bra unhooked?
Mutual massage is another less-discussed option. My husband sometimes indulges my mild foot fetish by lying head-to-toe with me while we rub each other’s feet, letting me kiss and suck his toes. Other times, while facing each other, he’ll rub my breasts while I give him a neck massage. Pregnancy can make a woman feel like being babied (while she still has the chance!), but it can also bring out nurturing feelings. If your partner is doing a million nice things for you to make you more comfortable, it’s natural to want to return the favor. It’s sort of the same idea as 69ing.
Yet, I would suggest that partners wait for the expectant woman to offer a mutual massage rather than suggest it. There are times when we just need someone to focus on our bodies without any distraction and asking us to return the favor may make us feel less pampered. Still, don’t be surprised if she starts rubbing and stroking you, too!