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Pleasuring the Pregnant Women- Sex During Pregnancy

When I was pregnant with my son I did a lot of research about sex during pregnancy.  Was it safe?  Would I hurt the baby?  Were there things I shouldn’t do?  How would orgasm affect things?  Being the sex geek that I am I had a ton of questions.  Thank God for Google!

Usually, sex is perfectly safe during a healthy pregnancy  (check with your doctor or midwife to make sure it’s okay for you).  I think a lot of the fear comes from people not understanding female anatomy.  I can’t tell you how many men think that they are going to hit the baby with the head of their penis.  For one thing the cervix would need to be open in order for the penis to get into your uterus.  For another thing, the baby is protected by the amniotic sac.  The penis will not hit your growing baby in the head and damage it.

Sex during pregnancy is actually healthy for your baby and your uterus.  The hormones involved in bonding, love and orgasm bathe your baby when you are sexually active.   When you have an orgasm, not only does your baby get some great feel good hormones, but your baby also gets a massage from your uterus.  See, when you have an orgasm your uterus contracts and relaxes.  It gets to exercise for the big day when your baby is born.

You may also notice that your libido changes as your body changes.  During my first trimester I was so sick that I didn’t want anything to do with sex.  I was exhausted and my partner’s smell made me want to vomit.  However, he was great at keeping us connected and keeping me orgasmic.  It was my time to lay back and enjoy lots of manual clitoral stimulation, which actually helped my morning sickness.

In my second trimester, my libido was high.  Many women report an increased libido as they start feeling better and the extra blood volume in their bodies sends more blood to their genitals.  Either their genitals gets so sensitive that it hurts, or like me, women walk around aroused all the time.  As my body got bigger and I entered into the third trimester my libido grew even more.  Some women find that as they get bigger, sex gets more difficult, or their partner’s no longer find them sexy.  These can be issues if there is different in libido.  This is where a vibrator or dildo can dome in handy (if you can still reach your genitals)!  I was lucky to have lots of Liberator shapes around, and we were able to get into some really creative positions.

One word of caution: sex during your later pregnancy can cause you to go into labor.  Certain elements in semen can soften your cervix, and orgasm may cause your water to break.  Nipple stimulation releases oxytocin which not only makes your feel good, but can also bring on contractions and make them stronger.  My water broke and I went into labor right after making love and having an orgasm.  It was great!

Sex during pregnancy can be wonderful and it’s a great way to keep you connected to your partner.  This connection is important, especially if this is your first child.  I say this because the time after the baby arrives can be the most challenging time you face as a couple, especially when it comes to your sex life


Allison is a tall, queer, femme from Ottawa, Canada. A writer of erotic poetry and prose, she has performed in Radical Vulvas and is a member of the erotic live-lit troupe Honeyed Tongues. Her work has appeared in Vagina Dentata, Venus in Scorpio, the Bywords Quarterly Journal, and at GKE.

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