Open Letter to the Hosts of “The Talk”

“Talking to your kids about sex”? That was awful

Dear Hosts,

I thought the segment was terrible. The experts were trying to help and gave great EXPERT advice (expert being the operative word). Drs. Berman and Buckley were right on the money. I think the issue here is more that your host/interviewer was sexualizing a topic that is a natural part of human behavior… it’s how we all came into this world isn’t it?

I wasn’t particularly pleased to see the obvious judgment on Marissa’s face in her on-the-street interviews either. Judgment or sex negativity doesn’t help anyone. In fact, don’t most people just want to know that they are “normal” when it comes to sex and sexuality?

The experts are not giving advice that parents sit down and go through the How-To’s of penile/vaginal sex with a two year old; that IS too much info. They were advocating simply proper names. Yes they may be clinical sounding but they are correct. Also certainly less silly than HooHoo or Cupcake (Really Leah?! Cupcake? Can’t WAIT until she is a teenager with THAT one.) Thank you Holly for seeing the sense in this.

It is important to remember that we as adults tend to sexualize things that a child does NOT see as sexual. I think this fact is an important piece to remember: When a child overhears that two people are sleeping together, they picture two people snuggling in the same bed (something they probably like to do with Mom or Dad), whereas an adult pictures the “Sleeping Together¬Ě we all know and love. This is sexualization, making something sexual or attributing sex or a sex role.

I applaud the efforts of Drs. Berman and Buckley. I just wish the best parts of their interviews didn’t end up on the cutting room floor. Shame on you editors! Well, I guess the upside is you highlight all the work we sexologists have ahead of us.

The MamaSutra

The MamaSutra

Mother of two girls. Holds a Bachelor of Science (Psychology) and a Certificate in Women's Studies from UW-Madison. Graduate of IASHS as Master of Human Sexuality. The articles you read here have goals in two main areas. 1) I strive to normalize conversations about sex and sexuality between parents and their children. To me this means helping parents accept and nurture their daughters' budding sexuality so they grow and learn to respect their bodies and accept their whole selves as they grow into strong, beautiful, powerful and healthy women. 2) Female Sexual Empowerment. Women deserve to learn about and explore the pleasure that can be felt through a full sexual life - however each of us may define that - without guilt, shame, or embarrassment.

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