OMG! You totally should have made something up!

Another mom friend of mine had an interesting situation occur.  Put yourself in her shoes as I tell the story and think about how you would respond.


Your 7 year old child is at a sleepover at dad’s/friend’s/relative’s house.  Your child is not asleep when an adult/teen/older sibling in the house starts watching a DVD.  It’s “Good Luck Chuck.  The next day your child comes home and asks you, “What’s a “blow job?  What’s “fingering?  What’s “doin’ the nasty?  What do you DO??

I’ll tell you what happened in this situation.  My girlfriend is an attractive, whip-smart, no-nonsense woman.  She told her daughter the truth and gave a direct answer (a very brief, need-to-know answer) to each question with no shame or embarrassment.  She also told her daughter that those were not appropriate words for a kid to say out in public so they would keep them between mom & daughter.  The daughter tried a couple times to use the new terms but the mom just simply redirected her that it was not a nice thing to say.  And it was totally a non-issue from that point on.

When this fellow mother told her other mother/girlfriends this story, most replied along the lines of¦ “OMG!  You TOTALLY should have made something up!  I STRONGLY disagree with that approach.  In my opinion, I think my girlfriend did EXACTLY the right thing.  As uncomfortable as it was for my friend, she knew deep down that she did not want to tell her daughter a lie.  They have a strong mother-daughter bond.  I think this just made that bond stronger.

So now back to you:  How do you think lying or telling untrue words to your son or daughter will affect your relationship?  Fast forward 5 years or so when your child encounters the words again with his/her peers and the others laugh at your child because s/he is misinformed.  Do you think that will have an impact on what your child thinks of you?

The MamaSutra

Mother of two girls. Holds a Bachelor of Science (Psychology) and a Certificate in Women's Studies from UW-Madison. Graduate of IASHS as Master of Human Sexuality. The articles you read here have goals in two main areas. 1) I strive to normalize conversations about sex and sexuality between parents and their children. To me this means helping parents accept and nurture their daughters' budding sexuality so they grow and learn to respect their bodies and accept their whole selves as they grow into strong, beautiful, powerful and healthy women. 2) Female Sexual Empowerment. Women deserve to learn about and explore the pleasure that can be felt through a full sexual life - however each of us may define that - without guilt, shame, or embarrassment.

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