Oh Yes, it’s Ladies Night!

I had a group of girlfriends over for ladies night one Friday night not too long ago. My daughters were going to be at home during the party. I told my daughters that they were welcome to stay up as late as they wanted (!) and that I would provide them with a DVD and whatever snacks they needed as long as they stayed upstairs. I tried as best I could to explain the reason for my request: that all of the women coming over to my house were mothers and if they (my girls) were underfoot they may not be able to truly relax. i.e., it might remind these mothers that they had kids at home and feel they needed to rush home to relieve dad or a babysitter. I explained that I would be able to come upstairs and check on them frequently since I had a co-host for this party and my ex-boyfriend on as chef for the party. Marcia and Cindy agreed and picked out their movie and snacks. The excitement of staying up as late as they wanted was more than they could take!

A few minutes before the scheduled start time for the get-together both of my daughters came downstairs to get a couple more provisions. Marcia stopped me and said, “Mom, can I ask you a question? “Sure babe. What is it? “So all the moms coming tonight to the party have kids? “Yes they do. Marcia thought for a moment and then concluded proudly, “So that means everyone here has had sex except Cindy and me. All of the adults in the room laughed and I said with a smile, “You are absolutely right¦ And that’s the way it should be for quite a while.

Marcia is 8. I have spoken openly and honestly with both of my girls about sex since they were little. This interaction tells me one thing: kids sure are perceptive, way more so than we adults are willing to give them credit. Soon enough she will realize that I have had sex more than twice in my life. I’m sure the questions will come rolling in when that happens¦at least I hope they do.

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The MamaSutra

Mother of two girls. Holds a Bachelor of Science (Psychology) and a Certificate in Women's Studies from UW-Madison. Graduate of IASHS as Master of Human Sexuality. The articles you read here have goals in two main areas. 1) I strive to normalize conversations about sex and sexuality between parents and their children. To me this means helping parents accept and nurture their daughters' budding sexuality so they grow and learn to respect their bodies and accept their whole selves as they grow into strong, beautiful, powerful and healthy women. 2) Female Sexual Empowerment. Women deserve to learn about and explore the pleasure that can be felt through a full sexual life - however each of us may define that - without guilt, shame, or embarrassment.

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