NSFW: 3 Questions For Me From A 28 y.o. Man…

Hello!

I saw your name on facebook and since you are a sex educator I wanted to ask you 3 questions?

1.) Is it normal for a guy to want to watch a girl take a shit?

2.) Is it normal for a guy to eat a girls’ butthole out?

3.) Why does religion (especially Catholicism) try to say that any sexual acts/intercourse before marriage is wrong and a sin… aren’t we suppose to explore our bodies and sexuality?

– Chris; 28 y.o.
Texas
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Dear Chris,

Your primary question seems to revolve around “am I normal”?  It is a typical question for people who have questions around sex.  Normal, abnormal and normative are statistical terms but have really no business having an association with sex.  Wardell Pomeroy was noted as saying “What is an abnormal act?  One that you can’t perform.”.  People have lots of likes and dislikes when it comes to sex and sexuality.  Of primary importance is almost always CONSENT and RESPECT.

As for your questions, watching someone “take a shit” isn’t a sex act per se, unless you are deriving sexual pleasure from it, so let’s talk more about that.  Do you feel it is a sex act?  How do you feel about watching someone do this?  What makes it appealing for you?  If you are doing this now, is this something that your partner is OK with having you watch or are you watching/spying on someone without their consent?  The latter could get you into hot water legally.

Analingus (aka “eating a girl’s butthole out”) is a sex act performed by both genders and people of all sexual orientations.  It can be pleasurable for both parties involved.  However, there are lots of health concerns because of potential disease transmission (not just STI’s) when doing this so make sure you are taking precautions when performing this.  Here’s a good link with more info.  Here’s a great, (copy written), NSFW pic:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/sassydude/3432040292/

I could go off on the last question but I’ll just say this, having grown up Catholic myself, I know that I am much better off without the guilt and shame that was taught to me as a young girl and hope to teach my children that they can still be spiritual beings… and to quote from Jessica Valenti, author of “The Purity Myth”, “teaching our daughters that their ability to be good people should be based on their intelligence, on their compassion, their kindness, not what they do with their bodies”.

Thanks for your questions Chris.  I hope this helps.

Best,

The MamaSutra

The MamaSutra

Mother of two girls. Holds a Bachelor of Science (Psychology) and a Certificate in Women's Studies from UW-Madison. Graduate of IASHS as Master of Human Sexuality. The articles you read here have goals in two main areas. 1) I strive to normalize conversations about sex and sexuality between parents and their children. To me this means helping parents accept and nurture their daughters' budding sexuality so they grow and learn to respect their bodies and accept their whole selves as they grow into strong, beautiful, powerful and healthy women. 2) Female Sexual Empowerment. Women deserve to learn about and explore the pleasure that can be felt through a full sexual life - however each of us may define that - without guilt, shame, or embarrassment.

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