Meet Our Teachers–Elle Chase, The Lady Cheeky!

Elle Chase, a.k.a. The Lady Cheeky, is a notable blogger and body-diversity advocate and a fabulous sex educator–we’re so happy to welcome her to Good Vibrations! I asked her a few questions in advance of her Thursday, June 5 workshop, Big Beautiful Sex. –CQ

Q: Why is it important to talk about body image with regard to sexuality? And who does this affect?

Advertising, entertainment, media and the diet industry have been spoon-feeding us the images they want us to deem “beautiful,” “sexy,” “desirable,”since the industrial revolution, all so they could shill products for us to covet. We believed the message, that in order to be happy we have to embody what that ideal is. Bullshit. More insidiously, they’ve led us to believe that our intrinsic capability for sexual pleasure and our own sexual currency is tied to what we look like, when in fact, what someone looks like doesn’t necessarily determine their desirability. When you couple decades of media standards with our innate instinct to fit in, with the fact that sexual pleasure and sexuality is demonized, shamed and stigmatized for almost everyone, you get a whole country of people who don’t think they deserve to have a satisfying sex life or that they are innately unsexy. Poor body image affects everyone in some way or another – as a sex educator and a woman of size, I can attest to the fact that you can have fantastic sex regardless of what you think you look like and the flaws you think you have. Body image issues and confident sexiness can co-exist … they’re not mutually exclusive.
Q: You talk about toys a lot in your Big Beautiful Sex workshop—are toys especially relevant for big-bodied people, or relevant in a different way?

Yes and no. Certainly you don’t need toys to get off, but it can make things more fun and sometimes easier for people of size or anyone with an injury, who’s differently abled or may have other mobility issues. One’s shape shouldn’t dictate whether we can have exciting, adventurous sex … or use a toy to masturbate or whether you can try different positions. Companies like Crystal Delights and Sportsheets are just starting to cater to the plus size community, so I see a trend of toys that can accommodate larger tummies, butts, thighs, etc… This opens up the world of sexual exploration to more people, and what could be wrong with that?

Q: What’s the one most important point you want to share via your Big Beautiful Sex workshop?

That our sexuality is inherent and our ability to have a fulfilling sex life has nothing to do with our physical appearance. Sexy is all in the mind.

 

Join Elle Chase this Thursday:                                                                                              lady cheeky

Big Beautiful Sex

Thursday, June 5, 6:30-8:30pm

$20 in advance, $25 at the door as space allows

Tickets: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/706694

Who says you have to be skinny to have the best sex of your life? Whether it’s media and advertising images of “perfect” bodies or snarky comments about our weight, fat-shaming is all around us, and it can get in the way of our sexual confidence and pleasure. In this workshop, which combines lecture and discussion, Elle Chase (aka The Lady Cheeky) will talk about attitudes (both external and internal) that can hold us back from great sex and specific challenges we face as plus-sized lovers. You will learn skills – from communication tools to the best toys, techniques and positions – to help you embrace your sexuality and have big, beautiful sex.

This class is appropriate for anyone with any type of body image issues, regardless of size.

Dr. Carol Queen

Carol Queen has a PhD in sexology; she calls herself a "cultural sexologist" because her earlier academic degree is in sociology: while she addresses individual issues and couple's sexual concerns, her overarching interest is in cultural issues (gender, shame, access to education, etc.). Queen has worked at Good Vibrations, the woman-founded sexuality company based in San Francisco that turned 35 years old in 2012, since 1990. Her current position is Staff Sexologist and Good Vibrations Historian; her roles include representing the company to the press and the public; overseeing educational programming for staff and others; and scripting/hosting a line of sex education videos, the Pleasure-Ed series, for GV’s sister company Good Releasing. She also curates the company's Antique Vibrator Museum. She is also the founding director of the Center for Sex & Culture, a non-profit sex ed and arts center San Francisco, and is a frequent lecturer at colleges, universities, and community-based organizations. Her dozen books include a Lambda Literary Award winner, PoMoSexuals, and Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture, which are used as texts in some college classes. She blogs at the Good Vibes Magazine and at SFGate's City Brights bloggers page and contributes to the Boston Dig. For more about her at carolqueen.com.

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