Mama’s Obsessions 2: Collections
I recently shared with you a little bit about my vampire fetish. For me, obsessions (fetishes, if you will) don’t just stop there. They go on and on. I don’t have full-on OCD or anything like that, but I’m really concerned that one day it may turn into some sort of mental disorder–as if PMS wasn’t enough.
One of my other obsessions is pretty, sparkly things that come in a collection or assortment. I know for a fact that I’m not the only woman on the face of the planet that likes pretty things, but I do believe that my obsession is a little different. You see, I don’t just want things that are pretty, shiny, sparkly, etc…I want them in sets–preferably sets of toys and books (things that go together, but look good, too).
Actually, I have started quite an impressive collection of vampire porn and toys, but you can find all that info in the first “Mama’s Obsessions” article!
Presentation is a big thing for me. If I intend to have a romantic evening at home, I put on a show (I should sell tickets one day, but I’m afraid that just might border with prostitution). I light scented candles, gather my materials for the evening (toys, lubes, books, strawberries…things like that), and make sure everything is perfect. I hate to admit this, but I even ruffle up my blankets and sheets on the bed because if they’re perfectly made and straight, it makes me highly uncomfortable and I just can’t go forward with the evening until everything is wrinkled to my liking. It doesn’t have to be a complete mess, though. In fact, a mess would have an even worse affect on me. There just have to be some wrinkled places on the bed so that it looks worn.
Here’s where the odd obsession with pretty, sparkly things comes in. The best way to explain it is by example, so I’ll give you a good example of what it’s like for me.
The Magic Wand is a great toy, right? Right. This toy is the Cadillac of vibrators–no toy collection is complete without it! You’d think that any woman would be absolutely beside herself with joy at the mere mention of the possibility of getting some time alone (or with her partner) to use hers. Unless that woman is me. See, theMagic Wand gives you the option of buying a separate top for it. You can get a kit called the Pop Your Top Kit that includes the Vibrator itself, one top, and some lube to get you going. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t be happy until I had the wand, all three tops, and the lube all together.The reason is simply because it’s a set of (pretty, sparkly) things that go together. That doesn’t mean that I couldn’t enjoy the Magic Wand by itself. Oh, I totally could. It just means that without the entire set of three tops that go with it, I’m on edge. Once all three tops are in my possession, however, I’ll be completely relaxed and on top of the world.
So, could you call that “orgasmic OCD”?
This oddity doesn’t end with toys, either. It goes on and on. I have a rather extensive collection of books at my house. I have art books, romance novels, erotic anthologies, erotic novels, romantic erotica, and about a million vampire books that range from romance to erotica to gory horror novels and comics. Like everyone else, I have my favorite authors, but the obsession kicks in with my series books. When I discovered the Twilight books (which was way after everyone else), I bought all four books at once. Hardbacks. I didn’t even know if I’d like them or not. I just had to have them all at once or none at all. I also collect things associated with the sea. I’m not quite sure why I do this because I have only been to the ocean a handful of times in my entire life. I was born near the sea (my Daddy was in the navy at the time), and sometimes I think that’s why, but who really knows. It could also be because the ocean is the one big sparkly thing that no one can ever really own. It owns itself.
My obsession with pretty things that go together has seeped into my sexuality, too. I’m not going to fight why, though. I don’t look at it as an unhealthy thing at all. Needing every single piece of a set of things is a good way to learn restraint–and we all know that restraint is a really fun thing to learn! The part of this obsession that has me wrinkling my bed to perfection and making sure that all of my scented candles match (and look good sitting together–wherever I choose to place them) is just my way of taking control of things, I think. I don’t like not having control over my surroundings or the things in it, but have been told that as long as I don’t become completely anal about it–to the point of making everyone else (kids, husband, etc) miserable–then, I’m okay. It just means that no candle or napkin holder in my house is ever going to be somewhere I don’t want it to be, and no sex toy is ever going to be lonely because I’ll make sure that it has all of the little extra things that you can buy to go with it. Anything else is unacceptable toy box behavior (for me, that is).
This odd part of my personality is also something that I don’t let get too out of control for fear of having it rub off on my kids. So far, so good. I don’t let it run my life so thoroughly that I lose all spontaneous fibers from my being. I’m still spontaneous as I’ve ever been! That being said, I think that one day I’ll be one of those crazy ladies who collects kitty cat figurines and pinches the butts of every single twenty-something male that passes her. I’ll have the best of both worlds. I can collect as many kitty cats as I want, and spontaneously pinch the rears of all who pass…then blame it on senility.
Until then, I am in hot pursuit of a comic book that will complete a trio of comics that go together for my son who could care less if he gets all three of them at once or if he has to wait for the other one. At least I know that one out of four of my kids isn’t going to wind up being a collector like me!
Happy Orgasmic OCD Fucking!