It’s Back to School Time for Mamas Too!
Wow! A great summer always seems to make the time fly. Before you know it, the nights are chillier and it’s time to start packing lunches again. For some it is bittersweet sending the kiddos off. For others it is a day to celebrate. It’s back to school time!
In honor of the newfound albeit tiny bit of time that may roll your way after watching the school bus roll away, I have a number of book recommendations you might throw in your backpack in the spirit of learning.
Often we lose sight of the fact that even as adults we can be constant learners, especially when it comes to sex and sexuality. Even if you are feeling confident and satisfied with your erotic world, there is always room for improvement, right? You may even learn something new and broaden your potential for pleasure and connection!
These books are the work of excellent teachers, women who have informed by practice and my life in profound ways. I feel like if you put all of their work in a blender, the work I strive to do in my practice would be the resultant smoothie. I hope they touch your life like they have mine. Women sharing their wisdom with other women is at the heart of my philosophy and it is with a heart seeking to inspire connection that I share my admiration of these wise women.
First up is Dr. Gina Ogden, a sex therapist, researcher and author who has shone her light on the connection between spirituality and sexuality. She is a brave woman to do so as we live in a culture where sexuality is literally dis-integrated from our whole being. Consideration of sexuality as an integral facet of the whole person is radical thinking. Although, happily, I do see the effects of a healthy, holistically integrated sexuality regularly in my clients ready to live their most fulfilled lives. No matter what facet of yourself you choose to isolate and disregard for any reason, you will feel the unsatisfactory effects in your holistic wellbeing. There is no escaping that truth. Dr. Ogden’s The Heart and Soul of Sex is bold and freeing to read. I encourage you to open your life to her wisdom and perspective.
The next teacher on your schedule is Dr. Tammy Nelson. Dr. Nelson focuses us on how to cultivate authentic intimacy through compassion and communication. One of her books is entitled Getting the Sex You Want, and while that is an important and worthy goal, I am honored to observe in my clients the unexpected consequences of learning compassionate communication. That building quality communication skills to the end of creating a satisfactory sexual life then allows every facet of a relationship to blossom and become more fulfilling than either partner could have imagined. Dr. Nelson encourages us to take the risk to be vulnerable with our partners for the vast rewards that can result.
Now it is time for learning with Dr. Gail Saltz about erotic empowerment. In her book The Ripple Effect, Dr. Saltz breaks down and illustrates how isolating and denying the energy of our sexual selves actually and practically manifests in women’s day-to-day lives using composite case studies. Her approach is to use her expertise to present women with whom we can relate and therefore identify our own particular issues. She encourages us then to proactively take steps to make change in our lives.
Taking that erotic empowerment to a hands-on approach is Nicole Daedone, the creator of orgasmic meditation (OM). Ms. Daedone advocates mindfulness and truly inhabiting your body. Not just acknowledging your erotic self, but letting her take the lead¦after all, your erotic self is passionate, playful, driven and a champion of authenticity. Why not put her in charge? And that is where I wholeheartedly agree and encourage my clients and friends to do just that. We all deserve to live connected to our passion and Ms. Daedone teaches a practice for making that happen.
The final teacher on your schedule is Dr. Christiane Northrup, whose Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom is a must for every woman’s bookshelf. Dr. Northrup provides the foundation for embracing our sexual wellness through being fundamentally knowledgeable about our bodies in the first place. She reminds us of the interconnectedness of all facets of self and all facets of wellness. We are also reminded that we have the capacity to be dynamic women throughout our lifespan, even as our children have children of their own.
So there you have it. Now that the kiddos are back to school, school is in for you! The bell is ringing and it’s time to crack the books. Enjoy! I guarantee the homework will be fun!
Photo by Kolin Toney