I Am My Own Wife
My mother used to say to me, “You have to make your own sunshine. This concept was designed to apply to my general outlook on life, especially when it came to the pursuit of happiness. But I find it applies to the bedroom, too. Whether you are single or married or somewhere in between, no one else will ever be able to provide you with constant contentment\’inside or outside the bedroom.
I’ve never been married, but a friend of mine who is about to celebrate his twentieth anniversary says married sex means you know how to push each other’s buttons–which is handy when you’re trying to come as fast as possible because Lost is about to start. Hey, at least he’s still having sex after twenty years.
For me, being single either means no sex at all or lots of sex, depending on how many ex-lovers of mine are still single and in the same boat. There’s a lot to be said about “friends with benefits when it comes to making your own sunshine. You already know each other, you’re familiar with how the other person is in bed, and you know why your relationship didn’t work out\’all of which adds up to the perfect equation for a “just sex situation.
When I have no sexual option but myself, I make good use of my time with my favorite book of erotica and a nice lube. Or, I distract myself by watching plenty of badass comic book violence like Tank Girl or by getting a new tattoo. As a fortune cookie once told me, “You stand in your own light, make it shine. And, so, I choose to lie down in the light and basically be my own wife–for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, ˜til death makes it all a moot point. Like most of us, I’m pretty good at satisfying myself sexually–it’s just too damn bad I can’t cook worth a lick.
Editors note: “I Am My Own Wife” is also the title of an amazing play about Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a German transvestite who survived the Nazi regime and the Soviet-dominated Communist dictatorship in East Germany.