Girlcock, Part 2- Strap & Play!

“Face down, ass up”. That position will be forever tainted thanks to a friend playing a song with that lyric, but the truth is, it’s a great position to find a lover in. Seeing them all open and ready, trusting you, head buried in the pillow for biting, stifling moans or blotting tears… terribly sexy. Especially if you’re wielding a strap on!

In my previous article I talked about how to pick your strap on harness and your cock for some sexy play. But… what do you do then? Is it different using a strap on with a girl vs with a boy? And where do you start?

Personally, I prefer to put on my strap on harness before I grab my lover for a tussle in the sheets. Strap on harnesses are a bit tricky, and I’d rather wrestle it onto myself in privacy! Also, there’s nothing like the hotness of the Reveal- when you pull aside your robe or pull down your jeans to expose your stiff cock. Yum. But it can also be fun to let your lover pick out the cock and help you pull the straps tight.

But then what? What’re the best positions to use your strap on in? What can you do with your strap on other than the expected? And what’re the best techniques to fuck in using a silicone cock?

Well, generally, I recommend some warmup before going straight for insertion (though, of course, that depends on your lover and how well you know them). I find black latex gloves to be a nice introduction- nothing like shiny black fingers lubed up and ready to explore. Or a dental dam and a wet tongue, of course!

There’s multiple ways you can use your strap on. I love to wrap my fingers in my lover’s hair as I introduce my cock into their mouth, watching their eyes widen and look up at me as I gently but firmly thrust in. And, of course, their saliva is a good addition to any lubrication I plan to use! Wearing a cock can also be a chance for me to put on a different persona- I can be a Captain in the Navy, a drag queen, maybe a biker. When I play with a strap on with my boy, we can play at being two boys together, or I can be the boyfriend, he the girlfriend.

Just because the dildo is silicone doesn’t mean that less care needs to be taken during a blow job, either. All the teasing, the licking of thighs and nibbling on the skin, hands sliding up the belly and gripping the ass- foreplay is equally fun regardless of who’s got the cock. Depending on where the harness puts the base of the toy, the sucking motion can stimulate the clit at the same time… very sexy. I love seeing my boy choking a bit as he thrusts me deep into his throat for my pleasure. Yummy.

Of course, some men enjoy using a strap on instead of their cock, for a variety of reasons, from overcoming erectile difficulty, to playing with genderfuckery, to enjoying different lengths and sensations. There are methods of using a harness to double penetrate your lover, using your cock and a dildo, which can be quite fun. Again, this can be a fun way to play around with genderfuckery- as a queer girl, I found it totally hot when my lover wore a tank top and underwear and then put a strap on over his cock to fuck me- imagining him as my butch dyke lover was a fun change of pace!

Of course, when people think of strap on play, many are thinking of penetration, whether vaginally or anally. There’s as many ways to have strap on sex as any other type of sex- but it can make certain things a lot easier. For example, sex in water is really sexy- but hard to have safer sex involved. Condoms can slip off more easily, and the water washes away natural lubrication, meaning condoms are at greater risk of breaking. But, if you use a strap on instead, you can sterilize your toy afterwards, depending on the material– therefore you can do without the condom. And a shower or bathtub is a narrow space, so using a strap on somewhere else, like a thigh, might make for more comfortable playtime (and easier places to hold on via a suction cup handle!).

I’m going to assume for a second, considering my audience, that you know some of the basics about penetrative sex- use lubricants and safer sex, go slowly with lots of foreplay, and communicate, communicate, communicate. In my previous article I talked about what sort of harness and dildo might work for your purposes, so I want to talk a bit about positions and toys that might enhance your strap on sex.

I’ll start with one of the most commonly used- doggy style, where the penetrated partner is on their hands and knees (or their knees and the side of their face for even deeper sensation) and the penetrating partner has access to either vaginal or anal penetration. This is an excellent place to start experimenting with strap on sex, as it’s got a lot of flexibility, and can be really hot when grabbing a lover’s shoulders or hair as you thrust! Just make sure your chosen dildo is long enough- bellies and buttocks can get in the way and lose you an inch or two, so know your limits when you pull out and thrust back in. You can also use a doggy style strap to get the perfect height, or a Liberator ramp if you want to have your sweetie on their stomach with their ass propped up for perfect access. It’s also a great way to stimulate a woman’s clitoris with a Rock Chick or similar toy if you want to have double penetration fun, using the strap on for anal play.

Doggy style is a fun position to be sure, but it can stimulate a man’s prostrate less than other positions, and being on knees can be uncomfortable for lengths of time. Additionally, it means that lovers have a hard time looking each other in the eyes. The missionary position is popular for a reason! Whether male or female, anal or vaginal penetration, legs bent to the sides or up over the shoulders, missionary position (the penetrated on their back, with the penetrator over) is a good one to try. Again, a Liberator wedge or ramp is a good bet if wanting to do anal play in this position, as it tilts the pelvis for easier access. It also makes it a bit easier to use a vibrator against the clit, to pull on some nipple clamps… and, of course, to make out!

The opposite of that of course is having the penetrator on the bottom, and the penetrated on top- the ever-popular cowgirl and reverse cowgirl, depending if you face your partner or not. It’s a good one for using when utilizing a double dildo, as gravity doesn’t work against you for holding in the toy and the rocking back and forth motion often stimulates the penetrator’s g-spot. Another advantage is that, for anal or vaginal sex, it allows the one on top to control how deep and fast a dildo slides in, which can be both comforting to first timers and satisfying for lovers who like being on top in more ways than one!

However, one of my favorite positions, regardless of the gender of the person I’m playing with, is plain old bent over. His hands pressed against the wall as I whisper in his ear to arch that back for me… her skirt riding up over her stocking tops as she bends over the kitchen table. Yum yum yum. It’s not only visually appealing- bent over a chair, table or wall angles a dildo to stroke a man’s prostate much more effectively. It can be used anywhere (one of my own experiences close to my heart was being bent over a car, actually, for some hot strap on action).

Just to reassure anyone reading this who might not have tried strap on play before- it can be hard to find the hole! More reason to lube up your fingers and explore. Holding onto the base of the dildo also makes me feel like I have better control when inserting my cock, so you can always give that a go too. And go slowly and steadily! It’s far better to get a rhythm you can maintain and go with that than to thrust too fast and tucker yourself out too quickly. It’s not a race, and hey, you don’t have to worry about losing your erection, right?

Of course introducing a strap on can lead to all sorts of fun experimentation with threesomes and moresomes, too! I loved spit roasting my boy, my cock in his mouth and a friend’s strap on in his ass. Or of course there’s using a strap on on a girl while she gives cunnilingus to another girl. Use your imagination and, well, stock up on the lubricant and play safe with condoms and sterilization. Hopefully you’ll find that strap on harness and dildo as an exciting a part of your playtime toy collection and a jumping off place for all sorts of delicious fantasies!

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Kitty Stryker

Kitty Stryker is a geeky sex worker, Burner, rabid writer and feminist activist with one high-heeled boot in San Francisco, California and one in London, England. In London, Stryker worked with the TLC Trust, an online organization connecting people with disabilities with sex workers experienced with emotional or physical limitations. She is the founder of the award-winning Ladies High Tea and Pornography Society, and was nominated by the Erotic Awards as Sex Worker of the Year for her charity and activism work. Now back in the States, Stryker has been presenting Safe/Ward, a workshop on combating entitlement culture within alternative sexual communities, along with being the PR rep for the Bay Area Sex Workers Outreach Project promoting sex worker rights. She has written for Huffington Post, Filament, and Tits and Sass, built a social media strategy for Cleis Press, and consults with sex workers about their online presence. In her copious free time, she enjoys switching things up with her two hot lovers. Read more from Stryker on her personal blog, Purrversatility.

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