Foreplay for One
Like it or not, and I most certainly do, foreplay is an important part of sex. It’s like stretching before exercising. It’s like warming up your vocal chords before you sing. It’s key to making you ready for some action and it’s also definitely something you should consider when masturbating.
Yes, what I’m talking about is foreplay for one. Arousal is such a huge part of sexual response that it’s important to consider personal foreplay when masturbating. I constantly get questions from people frustrated that their vibes just aren’t doing the trick or that anal stimulation is painful, even when they’re trying it on their own and they don’t know why. Basically, the most common complaint about discomfort (otherwise known as the toy “not working right”) stems from people not reaching orgasm easily and it’s always the same scenario where I ask what they’ve done to get into the mood and the general response is, “huh?”
Yes toys do make masturbation easier – that’s what they’re there for. But a toy can’t do all the work – sadly, nothing has been invented that will read your mind and know what to do to get you off (the Hitachi is close though…). Being comfortable and aroused can increase pleasure to a great extent and personal foreplay can help you get there!
Here are some really great tips that will help get you in the mood:
- Get comfortable in whatever position works best. Lots of pillows, no pillows, on your back or on your stomach – doesn’t matter as long as you feel relaxed and not strained. You shouldn’t be a position to get a neck cramp or a charley horse when masturbating!
- Start by massaging your body – breasts, thighs, over clothes, under clothes – do all the things that you enjoy having a partner do. Again, think of it like warming up the car in the morning…
- If you want to use a toy for penetration, start slowly and small. Start with a finger then move to the toy. Use lubrication and when applying it, massage it – don’t just drop it on and expect it to work miracles, you have to work with the lube…
- If you want anal stimulation – get a thick lube, and massage the anus before penetration. Massaging will increase blood flow and relax the muscles, making it much more comfortable for penetration. Relax and breathe easy – trust me, it makes a huge difference!
- If you’re using a vibrator – start by using it all over. Yes, I know if feels good just on your genitals, but trust me – using a vibe on nipples, around the anus (don’t put it if it doesn’t have a flared base!), or any other erogenous zone feels amazing and will do wonders to get you going.
These are just starting points, to give you some ideas how to enhance your experience. Also, you might consider good music, possibly a hot movie or possibly some company to make everything a little bit more exciting ;o)
Till next time!