Fooling Around: How I got into Clown Sex
I like being a klown a whole lot, actually.
And I figured maybe it was about time I talked a little about how, and why, I got into this whole Sex Klown thing.
It started years ago with a lover I had who had a really weird fetish (like many of my personal explorations). Anyway, he was hot, and a really fun, playful Dom, and so I figured it was worth it to try out his big kink and see for myself if there was anything in it for me.
So I asked about his big secret.
When he pulled out a beautifully made, black and white Pierrot outfit, I realized I might be in a little over my head. But I try very hard to be the GGG girlfriend, and so I indulged in the unicycle, the juggling, the inflatable dildo “balloon”, and the whiteface… and, well. It wasn’t so bad.
In fact, it was kind of awesome. Having been Goth, it wasn’t too much of a hop skip and jump to clownface, after all. And there was something about it I found really interesting- the sex, for example, immediately became more ridiculous and silly, simply because we were in whiteface, smudging it around. And clown sex interacted so well with other kinks- floggings with a rubber chicken, or sploshing with custard pies, or ballgags made of juggling balls all added a novelty to the kink I was used to. Playfulness in sex, especially kinky sex, was and is a huge turn on for me, especially if you can keep me guessing as to what might happen next.
Even so, I wasn’t entirely convinced by it. I figured it was something I did with him, and wouldn’t pick up on my own really. And in spite of being a big fan of other whitefacers like the Porn Klown Posse or the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, I never really felt like I was of them. I didn’t know why, for the longest time. Then it struck me.
In spite of being a loudmouthed instigator, I’ve never really considered myself a performer in the intentional sense of the word. I mean, I got the idea of performing gender, and played up femme for sure, but that was a mild, everyday performance, nothing like getting on stage or interacting with a heckling public. As much as I admired the quick wit of British humor, I didn’t have faith in my own ability to be clever spur of the moment.
But then I started going to things like Gay Pride in whiteface. And going to Las Vegas with my then-girlfriend, on NYE, both of us in full clowning moods. And suddenly I realized that just creating a clown persona was a performance, and that interacting with people as that persona felt not only natural but incredibly fun.
And then I started doing storytelling at Bawdy Storytelling in San Francisco, and I realized I COULD perform, I could ad-lib, and people would actually laugh!
And so Faggette was born, for political rallies and marches, for lightening up really dark, angry situations. I had already been doing similar things just as myself marching at rallies in ridiculous outfits with signs meant to make people laugh as well as think.
I must now happily note that the photo you see here was at the anti “Walk for Life” rally in SF, and is listed with other photos on a right wing site with this warning:
And how about the radical images of the most radical members of the left that ZombieTime.com has been able to capture and document over the years. Here are just a few of Zombie’s most disturbing pictures (WARNING: These pictures contain nudity, explicit language and disturbing messages!)
But the whiteface added a new, ridiculous level to the work I wanted to do. Faggette is a clown in the tradition of the Court Jester:
The fool’s status was one of privilege within a royal or noble household. His folly could be regarded as the raving of a madman but was often deemed to be divinely inspired.
|This role for me was certainly in part inspired by fellow Fools Professor Violet and Polly Pandemonium in San Francisco who run the original Kinky Salon. By playing the Clown, I was more free to tell uncomfortable truths through satire and parody, something I found far more enjoyable. And I was always attracted to the Fool card in the tarot- a spirit in search of experience.|
And that was all great.
But I wanted more.
Mainly, I felt myself really constrained by how serious my sexyfuntimes were getting. Every time I went to a kinky party, particularly in the UK, I felt surrounded by people in uniforms, stilettos and stern faces. “Sex is supposed to be fun” is something I say a lot, to myself and others, and while it WAS fun, in a way, it also felt really… well, cliche, and boring. And I was sick of wearing red and black.
So I tried taking Faggette to parties. And frankly I think some people were terrified. Other people were really confused. Partially that was because clown sex is still kind of in the closet (or would it be tiny car?) and partially it was because I realized that my energy as Faggette wasn’t quite right. A political clown, sure, a sharp-tongued clown definitely, but a clown that had sex in public? Probably not.
So I thought long and hard about my sex klown persona. Why the sudden change from clown to klown? Well, thanks in part to the Porn Klown Posse, I became aware of the idea of “klown” being used for subversive klowning, particularly in the area of deviant sexuality. As you all read my writing, you know I’m a giant dirty pervert. Therefore, my new persona was definitely a klown with a k.
I wasn’t sure what name to go with, though. I still wanted to be Faggette, but almost by nature she was a rainbow clown, if perhaps a bit less “pretty” and more crazy. Then, I was watching some porn late at night when I hit on it-
Creampie the Klown.
Because, of course, there’s the whole tradition of clowns and pieing, but also because “Creampie the Klown” sounded, as I say, like either a name, or a suggestion, wink wink. And thus was Creampie the Klown born, in a sweaty haze post-orgasm after watching a couple of clips from PornHub. Ta-da!
But then I realized that Creampie’s easy morals and entertaining way of educating people could be put to good use in other ways. And I started lecturing in greasepaint- first at Noisebridge’s 5 Minutes of Fame with cohorts Heart-On (my Vegas buddy) and Bugger (the boy) on the variety within clown sex, and then I did a lecture at Artwank on sex, fun, and how porn reflects our attitudes about the intersection between those two things.
So, in my quest to help people take “what it is that we do” less seriously, while also using my position as a social commenter and performer to draw attention to some of the hypocrisy and absurdity, Creampie was born.
She’s still in development, her makeup especially (an important part of clowning for sure), though she is at heart a black and white klown with the occasional red highlights and her loving chicken “Chokey” at her side. But she’s getting there. It’s getting to the point where she might need her own Twitter stream- people keep asking her out to parties and texting me to send messages along. I might end up having a personality crisis.
But Sister Creampie is spreading the Good Word of Klown Lovin’ and klown irreverence- a missionary, if you will, for donning some greasepaint and having a bit of fun with your kink and sex. She’s persuasive- at least 4 converts so far! What can I say- ridiculousness, I’ve found, especially in this serious and often painful world, is a mission worth having.