Does Sex in the Kitchen = Cheating?

Gals on The Talk discussed doing it in different places in the house because of former Girls Next Door Kendra Wilkinson and her husband Hank Basket insisting they have sex all over their house but not in the bedroom to shake things up and keep sex fresh.  It’s also said that they customized the kitchen for his height for those passionate love-making on a counter top moments (although see my Sex Makes You Live Longer post because maybe he wants to add more squats for longer life—ha ha)

Kendra and Hank led to the women confessing ways that their partners had tried to spice sex up. Julie Chen said, “C’mon gals, admit it. Don’t you think that means he cheated?” Wow, I wanted to call her a Debby Downer but she knows what she is talking about. Often a new lover re-awakens the hormones and that can spark things up with the long term relationship. In our culture of pronounced monogamy, that can be seen as a bad thing. But if we weren’t so focused on putting relationships in strict boundaries, wouldn’t that be a good thing? I said “hormones” but it’s also an awareness and focus on sex. Frankly, you can get obsessed–where can we do it again? Will we get caught? Can everyone tell I’m crushed out (or I just fucked) from the look on my face?

Classes on non-monogamy or polyamory  focus on the ins and outs of open relationships (as they should) but in my movie Talk to Me Baby, I promote (and show hot examples of) ways to spice it up without having to cross into non-monogamy for those who aren’t wanting to take that on. I always like to be fun, practical and sexy.

One challenging issue might be trust. Yes, trust is crucial even when there is no other person physically involved. For many people, trying something new means they have to feel comfortable and trusting. Others can try anything new at a moment’s notice. And trust works both ways, so if you are confessing a fantasy about the UPS man 1) you partner has to trust you that you still like find them hot even though they don’t deliver packages for UPS and 2) you have trust your partner that they won’t throw it in your face later when you are having a fight or bad day “oh YEAH well if I was doing a DELIVERY would you still say that?!”

If you think that trust affects your ability to try something new, I hope you talk about that with your partner and are able to move beyond it. If it stems from serious issues I encourage you to talk about it with a professional. If you are simply being shy or hesitant but secretly have a fun laundry lists of desires, then please share that with your love and get the good times a-rolling!

I am wondering how Julie’s partner feels about her suspicions? Or was she just saying that to provoke conversation? I can picture her in a dominatrix outfit with those extremely long fake eyelashes of hers making her man sit up a beg. (or um, is that just one of my fantasies? 😉 ).

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