Daddy, can I watch your movie?
I recently took a trip to my birthplace to see my dad because he hadn’t yet met his granddaughters in person. He’s in failing health, and it was very important to me that he got to see them face-to-faces.
Because he’s in failing health, he has been“and please excuse the bluntness“ preparing for death. He’s been sending me all sorts of financial info, insurance info, as well as photos. One photograph he had that I had been eyeing was a topless portrait of Josephine Baker. Alas, he didn’t send it to me (he claims he gave it away, but forgot to whom), but it did make me wonder why he had it up on the wall to begin with. All of his other photos were of family and co-workers. It made this one stand out even more. Did my dad have sex with Josephine Baker? It’s possible. He travelled the world as a Marine in the 1950’s. Ms. Baker performed until her death in 1975. Hmmm.
However, I didn’t ask. I couldn’t ask. We’ve never talked sex, and despite my curiosity, it just didn’t seem right under the circumstances. He does have a drawer full of writings that I will have a chance to read when he does pass. Maybe there is a story or two among them?
It really made me consider how much my children should know about my sex life. It seems obvious to me that at the very least the twins will benefit from my own experiences when it comes to their sex education. But how specific do I want to be with them? Will they get to see the videos I’m in? Will I tell them the names of past lovers? Will they know how many people their dad fucked?
The answers are dependent on boundaries“theirs, my lovers, and mine. I know at this point the thought of them watching DVDs of me makes me absolutely nauseated. However, that may change as I get older (heh, I doubt it). I’ll definitely talk about past experiences I’ve had that might relate to what I’m being asked. What I feel comfortable sharing, and what they’ll feel comfortable asking, will evolve for all of us as time goes on. I look forward to“ and sometimes cringe at“what’s to come.