Condoms for BDSM

It’s no secret that, in the adult industry, condom use is viewed as something that may ruin a scene for some viewers. It’s also no secret that, even with Adult Industry Medical (AIM) testing, condoms help keep everyone safer. After all, testing is not immune to error, though re-tests are routine, and infection can take place in the month or so between regular testing. There’s also the potential for error that could take place in any healthcare sector. Testing is important, especially in the case of a broken condom and in the interest of informed consent, but, in my opinion, should be a supplemental measure and not the only line of defense against STIs.

Of course, I’m saying this after having appeared in a number of scenes where no condom or barrier was used. Two, with the same actor, included penis-in-vagina (PIV) and anal penetration and one included PIV penetration with a condom to prevent pregnancy and anal penetration without a condom. I just though I should mention that.

Condoms, however, are an often overlooked BDSM toy. I use them regularly in my sessions to enhance CBT and as a fetish or training item. I’m shocked by how many of my clients cannot seem to figure out how to put one on. Sometimes I wonder if they’re faking, but I also have to wonder if wandering around and dripping precum on all my gear is really such an appealing fantasy. My early pro domme training by Mistress Reba included the following advice: “Always put a condom on first thing. Anyone can wear a condom, even if they’re soft. If a client tells you he can’t get it on, you put it on. If it’s too big, keep it on with a hair tie. It’s never too small.”


photo by ChepeNicoli


Her advice is the most useful I’ve ever gotten as a sex worker, even if it is common sense. I have to disagree with that last bit, though. However, it brings up the point that too small condoms can be used as a CBT toy all by themselves. My husband once tried to use a way too small condom. A client had, with impressive optimism, brought a bag of them, then left them when only two were used. My husband tried several, but found them all too tight at the base. Finally I just asked him to leave it on. I was rather enjoying seeing his face as he had to decide between the pleasure of thrusting and the uncomfortable sensation of having a really tight ring of latex around the base of his cock. For the record, he doesn’t like cock rings either, though I certainly do like to see him wearing one. I think the appeal is that he’s so horny he’s willing to hurt himself to get off.

Not that, “Oh, it’s too small!” should ever be a reason for bypassing a condom. If you’re trying a new brand and aren’t sure how it’s going to fit, get a couple of different widths and see what works best–while still staying on. My husband and I like to incorporate condoms every now and then because we both enjoy the varying sensations of starting with it on or off and then switching. While most sex workers will tell you that a man can usually not tell whether he’s wearing a condom or not, unless he sees his penis, I find the sensation to be very different, and my husband claims to as well. Being fucked with a condom vaginally is almost like having sex with a latex love doll and I like the variation. Condoms also make anal sex smoother, especially if the condom is thick, lubricated, and un-ribbed.

And beyond that, there are a few fun tricks that can be used in a BDSM session! Of course condoms play a big role in strap-on and femininity training. Learning to put a condom on with your mouth is easy enough to learn, but it does take practice. They keep over-excited males from dripping all over the carpet and expensive bondage gear. A magnum can add to a small penis humiliation scene, which a surprising number of guys are into–or perhaps there’s just something about me that attracts them.

One of my most basic, favorite tricks is snapping a condom against a man’s glans. It’s just something I started doing, yet every guy I’ve done it to has said he’s never experienced it before. Usually it’s just something I’ll do once when putting a condom on, but other times it’s an important part of cock and ball torture (CBT). It seems to work best with thinner condoms, especially when a little extra length has been left at the end. It certainly commands attention and turns a mundane health practice into a kinky little ritual.

Icy Hot Cream is a dungeon basic which can drive a submissive up the walls. For those who haven’t used it before, be careful not to bring it into contact with mucous membranes and be mindful of the fact that it cannot be simply wiped away, so start with a minimal amount and work your way up. A condom not only keeps Icy Hot in place, but intensifies the sensation by locking the vapors in.

Condoms can also be used for temperature play. Exposing the latex to more than usual heat will result in a big mess or at least degradation that renders it pretty much worthless, but condoms can be kept in the refrigerator or even freezer for an initial snap of cold. They tend to warm up pretty quickly, though.

A better way to use them for temperature play is to craft an ice dildo with your condom. It takes a bit of effort, but most subs seem to enjoy the project. The thrill went out of it for me the fourth or fifth time, but it keeps bound hands busy. Just take a cardboard tube, like one inside a roll of paper towels or toilet tissue, and drop a condom inside. Then fill the condom with water, tie the end off, and stick it in the freezer overnight. When it’s time to use the ice dildo, I strongly recommend leaving the condom on. However, if you want to experience the raw ice, rinse the bare dildo under water for a few seconds to remove frost and any rough ridges and be sure to use lots of lube. The ice can stick to mucous membranes, whether in a mouth, anus, or vagina. Or you could just leave the condom on and not risk it.

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