communication combat tactics aka finding your voice

i think communication is a four letter word in my world. despite the fact that i love words and holding meaningful intelligent conversations, i become befuddled when it comes to the time of communicating my needs in any sort of intimate interaction. i should probably define my idea of ‘intimate interaction’ which is any exchange verbally that i have with another person that i either a. care about or b. am sexually active with.
with all this said, this past weekend i had a moment of communicative clarity in an imtimate relationship i have with a good friend of mine. our interactions had been becoming increasingly more intense and more frequent in the past couple of weeks. i realized on sunday that i was developing very strong feelings for this person and that scared me terribly. i decided while my head was trying to a have a rationale moment that i needed to see this person less if it was ever going to work out in the future for us. i did not know how i was going to be able to get that out of mouth and into his ears, but i knew i needed to try. through a visit of a nasty panic attack and a high anxiety filled work shift, i called this person for a ride home and possibly a moment of communicating.
this is how it went:
i get into his car, after work.
3 seconds later…
me: this is going to sound very (messed) up but i need to stop seeing so much becase i like you alot.
him: (silence)

i just verbally threwup into my hand and slingshot into his beautiful face. i wasn’t in that beautiful moment of communicative clarity anymore. No. i had entered the land of sloppy communicative combat aka verbal purging through art of ‘processing’.
so my little announcement drove us into a very long conversation about our needs and wants. we discussed old patterns and trying to change them. all in all it was a beautiful conversation, landing us both on the exact same page in an emotional standpoint. still, nonetheless, i was quite embarrassed with my ‘harsh’ delivery to such a beautiful person.
i did realize one thing. i had found my voice and by all means it was sloppy, raw and definately not perfect. but this was my voice and i was grateful that i a. had found it and b. had a chance to let it be heard. even though it did remind me of throwing up alittle bit…


Good Vibrations

Good Vibrations is the premiere sex-positive, women-principled adult toy retailer in the US. An iconic brand and one of the world's first sex toy shops to focus specifically on women's pleasure and sexual education, Good Vibrations was founded by Joani Blank in 1977 to provide women with a safe, welcoming and non-judgmental place to shop for erotic toys. Good Vibrations has always included all people across the gender spectrum, and is a place where customers can come for education, high quality products, and information promoting sexual health, pleasure and empowerment. Customers can shop Good Vibrations' expertly curated product selection across any of its nine retail locations or on the website, where they can also find a wealth of information pertaining to sexual pleasure, exploration and education.

You may also like...