Brand Ambassador Reviews: Lovings Lounge tests the Smartballs Teneo

Santa came early this year, and I was a really, really good girl. I got two pretty toys from Good Vibrations – SmartBalls & the single ball version SmartBalls Teneo .

I think I wanna marry Teneo. Or at least embroider a velvet pouch for it. With stars and little hearts and everything.

SmartBalls – the perfect stuffers. Not just for stockings either.

Made of hypoallergenic elastomer – easily cleaned, smooth, require very little lube and can be worn all day long and everywhere.

Teneo was very stimulating when I was aroused. On my feet and moving around – woo! Orgasms were rocking even more than usual.

It hits the (G) spot. Perfectly.


I wasn’t able to fit in the twin SmartBalls; they were too long and poking uncomfortably. YMMV

Vibrations were barely noticeable – it’s more of a general “feel good sensation.


SmartBall toys are simply pretty, like all Fun Factory creations. Those little elves got it right! They would make a perfect present for your honey – you can even hang it off the Christmas three.

Teneo – looks like a giant space spermatozoa… but feels like that great guy who could not keep his hands off of you!

They are hollow spheres made of comfy non-porous elastomer, with a smaller ball rolling inside, similar to the famous BenWa balls but softer, warmer and easier to handle. Unfortunately, the softer material dampens the vibrations (on the other hand, at least people won’t be wondering where you keep your jingle bells). A stretchy loop makes popping it out easy (and feels kind of nice all on its own), and the fingertip dimple on top that keeps your fingers from slipping all over the place and pinching your coochie while you push it inside was a freakin’-stroke-of-genius! I wish more toy makers had such geeky/heavenly attention to detail¦

These puppies were delivered to my office in the morning, and I just couldn’t wait to try them out. A quick wash in the bathroom, and no one knew that I walked around with a Teneo deep inside of me for the rest of the day. That was pretty hot by itself :-). A good product tester has to sacrifice, you know. I tried this all-day thing three more times, as well as wearing it while visiting my honey at his parent’s house, cleaning my house and masturbating. It’s in my bag right now, small, discreet and ready for action any time I am. I really love the fact that it’s small enough to take anywhere.. it makes the entire day sexier, even if it’s just nearby.

Good Vibrations and the toy maker bill SmartBalls as a Kegel exercise aid. That’s an understatement. It’s a full body workout toy. Sitting with one inside didn’t do much for me (except as a fun reminder to do Kegels), but moving around or even just standing felt really, really good. I think I’ll renew my gym membership – I finally have the motivation I needed! Not to mention that my house has never been this clean.

I’m not quite sure why the movement makes it feel so good. I was not consciously aware of any vibrations – just the subtly growing excitement that lasted all day. Teneo didn’t make me wet and aroused all on its own¦ it was more of a synergy effect. Any sexual arousal was jummily amplified. A clandestine make-out session was hotter than usual (I love playing in semi-public places). Coming up with a weekly tease and denial plan for honey#1 was even more fun¦ my creative juices definitely got going (grin). When playing with myself, orgasms were notably more intense – actually more intense then from a dildo.

As a Kegel exerciser, SmartBalls worked pretty good, but not spectacular for me. I prefer not to have anything inside of me when I do them (unless I want to impress my partner :-) ), so I can feel the entire area move¦ If you prefer to push against something, they’d be great. They did make for an exceptional get-to-know-your-pussy tool though. Finding the right depth of insertion to hit my G-spot was not an immediate success, but now I think I’ll never lose it again. Experiencing different sensations depending on exactly where the ball was at the time was an interesting exercise in bodily introspection.

Did you notice that my entire review was based on the SmartBalls Teneo toy, the single ball? Alas, the original twin SmartBalls could not fit all the way in without poking out and pinching my inner labia.

That’s enough to give a girl a complex.. is my pussy really that much smaller than average? Must take a poll (putting on a lab coat and glasses and calling all my ex and current boyfriends). Hmm¦ I did fit some pretty sizable penises down there, but 6 1/2³ high (yes, high – makes for a *much* better visual :-)) is on the upper level of complete comfort.

This is not as little as it sounds due to the “Internet penis size inflation, girls. A perperback is 6 1/2 tall. Take a look at one and tell me if you’ve met many bigger penises (remember, what’s measured is *insertable* length, just like with dildoes). Better yet, send pictures!

So, two thumbs up and a big grin for Teneo. If you plan to buy the original twin SmartBalls, you might want to pull out your favorite dildo and measure it, or chase your SO with a paperback first.

SmartBalls & SmartBalls Teneo . Go get ˜em.

To read the original review on Lovings Lounge, go here.

Dr. Charlie Glickman

Charlie Glickman is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. He also writes, blogs, teaches workshops and university courses, presents at conferences, and trains sexuality educators. He’s certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and loves geeking out about sex, relationships, sex-positivity, love and shame, communities of erotic affiliation, and sexual practices and techniques of all varieties. Follow him online, on Twitter at @charlieglickman, or on Facebook.

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