[W]e are outraged that Internet platforms, from social media to search engines, seem more prone these days to accept content steeped in hate and intolerance than that inspired by a playful or searching interest in sex. They call the former “free speech” while damning the latter as harmful—when in reality, it’s the other way around.
Author: Dr. Carol Queen
If what’s happening isn’t arousing enough, extending its duration doesn’t help! The way to an orgasm is almost always “increase arousal.”
At the heart of our critique: concern about the notion that there’s such a thing as definitively normal sex (there isn’t), and the belief that shame around sex (masturbation, porn, desiring sexual variety, etc.) is often the reason people feel distressed about their sexual experience. Unhealthy behavior does exist, and compulsion can be one version of it. Some people do need help. But that help can come without embracing the notion of sex addiction, and it can be sex-positive.
People may be freaked out about masturbation, or so freaked out that they don’t do it, which may mean that they have not become orgasmic or learned enough about their own arousal responses to inform a partner about the best way to get them off.