Ask the Doctors: Sex On Your Period

I have yet to find anything on how to make sex comfortable & loving, etc during that time of the month. With the discomfort and with cramps, how do you get into it, when you’re not feeling right? I know sex should relieve them, but getting there is kinda the difficult part. Also, trying to make it loving, during that time. I’m not into the harder or say sleazier sex. Do you know what I mean? Kinda looking for the pampering type of love-making.

It’s true that for many women, orgasms can reduce menstrual cramps. There are at least two reasons for that. First, the contractions can make it easier for the uterus to shed the lining and second, sexual arousal and orgasms increase pain tolerance, so things don’t feel as painful. If you’re having difficulty getting started, there are a few things you could try.

First, acknowledge that when you’re bloated and crampy, it can be hard to feel sexy. Some women also report that hormonal shifts make them feel less sexy, too. But I’ve spoken with quite a few women who find that if they get started, their arousal kicks in and gets things rolling.

Now, I want to be clear that I’m not suggesting that anyone should ever do anything they don’t want to do. It’s just that sometimes, if we don’t want to have sex, we can start out with wanting to want it, if you see what I mean.  If you have that ingredient, that might be enough. And if not, if you don’t want to want to have sex, don’t stress about it. Put a movie on and enjoy! There are other ways to deal with cramps.

So ok, assuming that you want to want it, have you spoken with your partner about it? Some folks aren’t into sex when someone is on her period, some folks don’t care, some folks enjoy it. But the two of you will need to be on the same page. As far as how to make it loving rather than raunchy, that’s also something that the two of you will need to be able to talk about.

But in terms of the more nuts-and-bolts aspects of it, how about sex in the shower? If either of you is concerned with getting messy, being in the shower can help a lot. You might want some silicone lubricant since the water will wash away a water-based brand. Or if you want to be in bed, put down a dark towel or one of the washable Liberator Fascinator Throes.

And of course, if you’re not feeling like having sex with a partner, if your partner isn’t available, or if they’re not into sex during your period, you can take care of it yourself. Quite a few women enjoy using a vibrator during their period, especially one of the more powerful ones like the Hitachi Magic Wand. For many women, it’s a reliable way to have an orgasm, even when there’s not much enthusiasm at first.

And lastly, if you’re having sex because you think you should, I suggest looking for other ways to deal with your cramps. Thinking that we should have sex is one of the best ways to create resentments and that often leads to unhappy sex lives.

We’re dedicated to getting you the information you need about sex, pleasure and your health. If you have any questions, please email our staff experts, Dr. Carol Queen and Dr. Charlie Glickman, at education@goodvibes.com! For product-related questions, please email or call our customer service staff at customerservice@goodvibes.com.