Ask the Doctors: Mom’s Having Trouble Orgasming

Via Twitter:

My mom friend w/ a 22 month old is pregnant is now & anorgasmic. Used to come easily. Any advice or thoughts?

There could be a lot of different things going on, and without more info, it’s hard to give much in the way of suggestions. So here are some things to consider:

  • Is she having difficulty feeling aroused at all, or just with having orgasms?
  • Does her orgasmic difficulty happen during masturbation? Partner sex? Both?
  • Is she/has she been breastfeeding her 22-month old while pregnant?
  • What changes did she notice in her sexual response during her first pregnancy and afterward, but before she became pregnant again?
  • Has her vaginal lubrication changed?
  • Did she start taking any medications recently?

Both breastfeeding and pregnancy can set off all sorts changes in sexual response, which makes sense given how many hormonal shifts are going on. Lots of women find that their sexual experiences vary a lot during pregnancy. For some women, they become much more easily aroused or lubricate a lot more than before, while other women report the reverse. Sometimes, sexual response returns to pre-pregnancy patterns and sometimes, the shifts are more long-lasting. Since each person is different, there really isn’t any way to predict what your friend will experience. But the questions I listed above are a good starting point, especially if she wants to talk with her doctor about it.

Having said all that, she might want to check out Your Orgasmic Pregnancy: Little Secrets Every Hot Mama Should Know. It’s full of really great tips on libido, intimacy, and relationships during pregnancy.

And of course, both pregnancy and having a toddler are pretty exhausting, much less dealing with both at the same time. Being tired is one of the most common barriers to arousal and orgasm, so the solution might have more to do with finding ways to resolve that rather than anything else.

Dr. Charlie Glickman

Charlie Glickman is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. He also writes, blogs, teaches workshops and university courses, presents at conferences, and trains sexuality educators. He’s certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and loves geeking out about sex, relationships, sex-positivity, love and shame, communities of erotic affiliation, and sexual practices and techniques of all varieties. Follow him online, on Twitter at @charlieglickman, or on Facebook.

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