Ask the Doctors: Is the G-spot Real?

Is the G-spot real?
— Virginia

The existence of Santa Claus is above my pay grade, but yes, Virginia, there really is a G-spot. Its proper name is the prostata femina, which we can translate as “female prostate,” and the G in the name refers to Dr. Ernst Grafenberg, the guy who lent his name to the glandular tissue around the female urethra. (He didn’t name it after himself while he was alive — only the most important and ego-ridden doctors do that! — but when it was written about in the 1980s in the best-selling book The G-Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, authors Beverley Whipple, John D. Perry, and Alice Kahn Ladas named the body part they were about to make very famous after Grafenberg, who had written it up in the 1950s.)

Come to think of it, I don’t even remember what any of those other discoveries might have been. But the G-spot became a huge sensation in the popular press, even when it was being written about in vague or unclear enough ways that people couldn’t really find out the truth about the supposedly elusive magic orgasm spot.

In fact, the G-spot probably exists in all women, though not enough research has been done to help us determine that for sure. Many women, though, think they don’t have one, I think for two main reasons. First, the main thing people understand about the g-spot is that it can be stimulated with vaginal entry — true enough as far as it goes — and so many women have had plenty of things in their vaginas without feeling anything different (or Amazing Orgasm Button-esque) that they assume they simply must not be able to feel their G-spot or don’t have one at all. The fact is, though, that ordinary intercourse and even many sex toys won’t help one find the G-spot — you need curved fingers or a firm, strongly-curved or bulbous toy, plus lube and more pressure than average, to find and stimulate the Spot, which can be most directly reached on the front wall on the inside of the vagina. (Plus, it’s not a “spot” at all — it’s an area, the size of a quarter, more or less, which may also be a little confusing.)

The other reason: People have heard that G-spot stimulation leads to female ejaculation; if they haven’t experienced this, they figure, no G-spot. In fact, while G-spot play can lead to the expulsion of fluid, it doesn’t always do so. Some women have sensitive G-spots but rarely, if ever, ejaculate.

Much more information is available in The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-Spot, and you can look here to find toys that are good to use for this kind of play. More basic detail about G-spot hunting is here. If you decide to arm yourself with a curved dildo and a bottle of lube, rest assured you’re not looking for a unicorn, a selkie, or some other mythical beast. (And if you’re perfectly happy with the body parts you’ve already met in the course of other erotic experience, that’s great too! I’m a little irritated by the G-spot myth that says every woman should play with her G-spot — plenty of gals aren’t interested, and that’s fine too.)

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Dr. Charlie Glickman

Charlie Glickman is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. He also writes, blogs, teaches workshops and university courses, presents at conferences, and trains sexuality educators. He’s certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and loves geeking out about sex, relationships, sex-positivity, love and shame, communities of erotic affiliation, and sexual practices and techniques of all varieties. Follow him online, on Twitter at @charlieglickman, or on Facebook.

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