Are all women capable of squirting?

Dr. Carol Queen, Ph.D answers questions from our Social Networks.

Q: Are all women capable of squirting? A not so related note: are some women more prone to dryness than others? Or are they just not turned-on?

Oh, juicy question! Here we go, one element at a time:

We don’t know whether all women are capable of squirting (a.k.a. ejaculating). We don’t know this because the research on female ejaculation has been insufficient to allow sexologists and other interested parties to extrapolate from the experience of gals who squirt to those who don’t (at least, who haven’t yet). So far, the answer is: Maybe. Women’s ejaculate seems to derive from a comparable place to men’s: the prostatic tissue around the urethra, usually called just the prostate in men and either the G-spot or the prostata femina in women. (The latter term is its official name.) People in the “all women could ejaculate” camp point out that many women, once they learn about the G-spot and how to stimulate it, DO ejaculate, and argue that as far as we know, everyone has this tissue. Cautionary voices say that even if every woman has prostatic tissue (and frankly, we’re not yet positive about that), there may be differences like, maybe, hormonal levels that lead some women’s to be better developed, others’ more vestigial. See? A qualified “maybe”!

That we’re not scientifically sure should not stop women and their partners from going G-spot hunting and trying to stimulate it to the point of ejaculation — if you do it right, you’ll probably enjoy the hunt even if it doesn’t seem to yield anything but pleasure. The basics: lube, curved fingers or toy, and more pressure than usual. She must be aroused — otherwise the pressure may just feel irritating. The area to stimulate is 2-4 inches into the vagina, on the top if she’s lying on her back — that is, behind the clitoris. The ejaculation response may not happen the first time; when it does, it is often heralded by pressure that feels much like the need to pee. Ejaculation isn’t always linked to orgasm but often is — another reason she has to be turned on for this experiment to succeed. Simple pressure may not work; firm stroking is a favored technique. You might want to put a towel on the bed.

Then speaking of arousal and vaginal dryness…

Yes, some women lubricate way less than others, and any women may lubricate less under stressful conditions, if she’s smoking pot, if she’s on allergy meds, and at different times in her cycle. When she hits menopause she is likely to get less wet. Having her favorite brand of lube around is always good. But dryness can also signal a lack of arousal, either because stimulation hasn’t gone on long enough for her particular needs, or because it’s the wrong stimulation, the wrong time, or the wrong circumstances: here I use the word “wrong” as shorthand for “it isn’t working for her right now.” If you’re in a sexual situation with a woman (or you ARE that woman) who isn’t getting wet, ask her how she usually responds and whether she needs something different than what she’s getting. It’s also a good idea for every woman to pay some attention to this part of their sexual experience so as to have an idea about her own norms and fluctuations. That way, if anyone asks her if she usually gets wetter than she is at that moment, she’ll know.

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CQ

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Dr. Carol Queen

Carol Queen has a PhD in sexology; she calls herself a "cultural sexologist" because her earlier academic degree is in sociology: while she addresses individual issues and couple's sexual concerns, her overarching interest is in cultural issues (gender, shame, access to education, etc.). Queen has worked at Good Vibrations, the woman-founded sexuality company based in San Francisco that turned 35 years old in 2012, since 1990. Her current position is Staff Sexologist and Good Vibrations Historian; her roles include representing the company to the press and the public; overseeing educational programming for staff and others; and scripting/hosting a line of sex education videos, the Pleasure-Ed series, for GV’s sister company Good Releasing. She also curates the company's Antique Vibrator Museum. She is also the founding director of the Center for Sex & Culture, a non-profit sex ed and arts center San Francisco, and is a frequent lecturer at colleges, universities, and community-based organizations. Her dozen books include a Lambda Literary Award winner, PoMoSexuals, and Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture, which are used as texts in some college classes. She blogs at the Good Vibes Magazine and at SFGate's City Brights bloggers page and contributes to the Boston Dig. For more about her at carolqueen.com.

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