All About Anal
Hello all! We both hope you had a lovely Valentine’s Day and treated yourself or your loved ones to yummy, yummy things! This week’s column is all about a hot topic that we’ve gotten a lot of emails and calls on recently! That’s right… anal sex! It seems that the popularity of this special subject is sweeping the country. The author of The Surrender (an erotic memoir about anal sex) has been on morning talk shows and Jenna Jameson’s book How to Make Love Like a Porn Star made the New York Times bestseller list! Something must be up out there!
Anal sex is at once taboo and mysterious. However, it can be an incredibly pleasurable and intense experience! You might be surprised to find out who’s giving and who’s getting! Relaxation is the key to getting started and don’t forget the lube! Your anus can’t make its own lubrication so to make this trip smooth and pleasurable use lots of thick gel lube like Maximus, and Good Lubrications Gel or a silicone lube (that will last for an amazingly long time!) like Wet Platinum and Eros. We have all kinds of information and toys to get you started. So take a deep breath… Molly and I are here to answer your questions about this intriguing subject!
— CeeCee & Molly
Q: My boyfriend and I have been wanting to experiment with anal sex, and while I am really into it I am a little afraid and don’t know where to start? We have played with a finger and that is about it… Any suggestions?
— Susie from MN
A: Absolutely! We love the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women and the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men and recommend it to our callers! These books are filled with great suggestions on how to get started. Anal Pleasure and Health is another amazing book that offers lots of exercises and plenty of excellent anatomical information. Starting with fingers is a great jumping off point. If you’re not sure how you feel about having someone else’s finger explore you first, try it out with a soapy digit in the shower or a hot bath on your own sometime. You can use Finger Cots to practice safely (also good for quick clean up) on your partner and be sure to use lots of lube.
Anal toys are also a great place to start. Silicone is the perfect material for anal toys! Its non-porous surface makes clean up a dream and the soft texture is wonderful for sex play. Anal toys all have a flared base (never put anything up there that might slip in too far and become unreachable!) and are often graduated in size. The Casanova plug and the Beauty Beads are great examples of this shape and size. These toys are great for beginners and experts alike as they are small in size and easy to insert and remove. (Pulling them out at the time of orgasm is pretty amazing!) The Casanova, The Little Flirt and the Spiral Plug are great for wearing during sex. This is one of the best preludes to anal sex. Pop a toy in, play around, tease each other, relax into the sensation and see if you feel ready to take on your partner. Going nice and slow, communicating what feels good and what doesn’t, using lots of slick lube and relaxing into it will help you have an unforgettable first time! Good luck!
Q: Hi there. My boyfriend and I keep hearing about this Aneros thing? Is it really as good as they say it is? It’s plastic right? Is that ok?
— Doug, IL
A: We’re not surprised that you’ve been hearing about this amazing little toy. It’s been getting a lot of attention lately. Well-deserved attention! It even has its own yahoo group! There’s a reason its fans can’t stop raving about it. This medically designed and anatomically ingenious toy is made from hard plastic and has a great curve that hits the prostate gland. Besides feeling great, there’s a lot of research now that shows that stimulation is good for prostrate health. Best of all, this toy is designed to be hands free. You can insert it and the body’s natural contractions take over and provide prostate and perineum stimulation. We’ve had tons of customers tell us that their orgasms are stronger and more intense when using the Aneros. We sold out of this toy when we first started carrying it.
You can use this toy with silicone lube or a thick gel lube and it cleans up easily. The hard plastic is smooth and non-porous. Solid plastic is fine for sex toys and is hypoallergenic. There are slight ridges at the base that provide extra sensation and help the sphincter hold it in place. You and your boyfriend might each want to get one so you don’t have to fight over who gets to use it tonight!
Q: My boyfriend has expressed an interest in me penetrating him. I have never used a harness and I am not sure where to even begin? Thanks so much. It’s really cool that you answer stuff like this.
A: Thanks! We’re here to help! Lots of guys are finding that they enjoy being penetrated by their partners and the ladies love it too! It’s a great opportunity to try something new and spice things up. We can’t recommend the instruction movie Bend Over Boyfriend enough! This well-loved guide shows you how to get started, how to communicate, and how to strap it on. Our very own Carol Queen walks you through everything and there are great vignettes with real couples demonstrating tips and techniques. You’re certainly not alone out there. This topic is so popular that we have a kit that has everything you need to get started. Check out the Bend Over Beginner Kit. It comes with a nice velvet harness and two different sized of dildos so that you can start with a smaller size and work your way up. (Always a good idea!) The Silk dildos are great for first time anal play. They’re made from silicone and they have a perfect smooth, flat surface. The Silk 1 is not much bigger than a middle finger and has a gentle curve to it that’s great for prostate stimulation. If you’re not sure you like the Corset Harness we have a wide variety to choose from — the leather Terra Firma harness is one of our best-sellers. It’s a great general harness to have on hand.
It sounds like you and your boyfriend are open to communicating about what you want and this is great! When you’re strapped in and ready to go, lube him up and lube up your toy for easy penetration. Check in with him and see how he’s doing. Make sure you start with nice gentle thrusts. Wait until you know he’s totally comfortable and begging for more before you let go and have your way with him! You two are in for a treat!