Top 10 Rules for Great Pegging: Social Media Edition

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Dan Savage ran a contest in 2001 for his readers to select a new term to describe strap-on anal penetration where women are the givers and men are the receivers. Dan reported that ‘pegging’ was the most popular, and a new sexual vocabulary term was officially coined! To celebrate International Strap-On Week, we’re giving you the best advice for pegging success, and we’re doing it social media-style.

1. Like. Comment Share.

Facebook_like_thumbYou love to tell the internet about your amazing concert seats, the latest petition you signed, and your favorite vegan desserts, but it’s time to turn all that sharing toward the person (or persons) in bed with you! That’s right: put down your smart phone for a minute and have a conversation with your partner(s) about pegging. Have you fantasized about it? Tried it once but it quickly went off the rails? Think you want to give it a go but have some fears? Before you do anything, put everything out on the table: what you know, what you wish you knew, what freaks you out, what turns you on. Make this an ongoing conversation where you get to swap ideas, talk dirty, be explicit about your desires, and figure out what you’re going to do.

2. #SpitIsNotLube.com

from shannakatz.com

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First things first: you need lubrication for all anal play, and pegging is no exception. If you love playing with silicone dildos and plugs, use a thick, water-based lube since water-based lubes are easy to clean up and compatible with silicone (and all other sex toy materials). Try Please Gel or Sliquid Sassy.

 

 

3. Clean Out Your In Box

deleteIf you’re the one who’s going to be pegged, in order to prepare for a relatively clean adventure, make a trip to the toilet and take a warm, soapy shower or bath. Treat your ass as you would your genitals, and always use the mildest soap you can—either a castile or pure glycerin—on the delicate tissue of the anus and rectum. I say “relatively clean” because I want you to be realistic. There are no guarantees in life, and some amount of fecal matter may be present in your rectum, depending on your particular bowel movements, diet and overall health. If you want to go the extra step to make sure you’re totally cleaned out, you can give yourself an enema beforehand. Always use plain, warm but not-too-warm water for your enema and give yourself a few hours before anal sex to give your body a chance to recover.

4. Word of Finger

fingerFingers were made for more just texting: they are perfect for anal exploration as a warm up to pegging. But make sure said fingers are butt-friendly with nails that are clean, short, and well-filed. Gloves are great safer-sex barriers, but they also work well for penetration because they transform your hand into a smooth, seamless tool. If you’re unsure about how nice your manicure is or you have anything but short fingernails, wear a latex or nitrile glove. Make sure to get the proper size glove for your hand, so you have the most sensitivity. Always use lube with a glove to reduce friction and make penetration comfortable and pleasurable. For long nails and nails with sharp edges, stuff a cotton ball in the end of each finger before putting on the glove—then pay special attention to where those hands are going. This is considered an advanced trick because the cotton affects your ability to feel.

5. Upgrade Your Hardware

upgrade beyonceHaving the proper tools for the job can make all the difference, so choosing the right strap-on is essential (click here for a good guide). The harness should fit snugly, like a second skin, to give you plenty of stability and confidence. The Terra Firma Harness has multiple O-rings to accommodate different sized dildos. The RodeoH Fabric Harness is extremely comfortable and easy to put on for folks who dislike all the straps. The Boudoir Lace Corsette Harness is great for plus-sized people. If Emily Post had a chapter on proper pegging etiquette, she’d probably say that the person getting pegged should select the dildo. Some great ones for beginners are the Charm Silicone Dildo and the Siren Silicone Dildo. Follow @GoodVibesToys on Twitter and check out the #straponselfie campaign for some great customer combos!

6. Add “Prostate Massage” to your FetLife Fetishes

fetlife pokeYou can directly stimulate the prostate through anal penetration, which is why pegging feels so good and can be orgasmic for lots of folks. The prostate gland — sometimes referred to as the P-spot or the male G-spot — surrounds part of a man’s urethra; it’s behind the pubic bone, below the bladder and above the base of the penis. A mass of muscle, glands, and connective tissue, the prostate is about the size and shape of a walnut. As a man gets aroused, the prostate swells, making it easier to find and more receptive to stimulation. With a finger or a toy, go inside about two or three inches and aim toward the front of his body. Some men enjoy prostate stimulation alone and others like to combine it with genital stimulation. Some say that anal play intensifies their orgasms, making them feel longer and more powerful. Others say their orgasms become less genitally-focused as they experience a broader, full-body orgasm. Some men can have an orgasm through prostate stimulation alone. Others are able to orgasm without ejaculating.

7. Pin This.

Pegging is all about the right position, and experimenting with different body configurations is key. They’ve each got different pros and cons, so think of the acronym S.T.E.A.D.Y. to help you evaluate all the different aspects of a position:

tom hiddlestonSkin-to-skin contact: if you want to have lots of body contact with your partner or like the weight of their body on yours.
Thrusting power: some position offer lots of power behind each thrust while others give you more shallow thrusting.
Eye contact: some people prefer face-to-face positions where they can communicate verbally and non-verbally.
Access to genitals: like to play with your own or your partner’s cock and balls during penetration? Pick a position that gives you good access.
Depth and angle of insertion: As you aim toward the front of the body for prostate stimulation, remember angle matters.
Your unique body will ultimately determine which positions work best for you, so if there is a big height differential between you and your partner or one of you has bad knees, choose a position that’s comfortable and sustainable.

8. Let Peggers Be Choosers

he-manAs the pegger, while you’re giving it, you can also be getting it! You can wear a vibrating dildo like the Riley Vibrating Silicone Dildo to give both of you added stimulation. The Nexus Double Dildo is designed especially for use with a strap-on harness; with each thrust of your hips, you deliver a double shot of penetration! Or go strapless with the Share Double Dildo.

 

9. Press Play.

There is plenty of visual inspiration you can watch on demand and even learn a thing or two while you’re at it; check out classics like Bend Over Boyfriend, sex ed titles The Expert Guide to Pegging and Uranus: Self Anal Massage, and Joey Silvera’s infamous series Strap Attack.

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10. Choose Your Emoticons 😉

If you’ve already tried and enjoy anal penetration and prostate stimulation, pegging can take that pleasure to the next level with hands-free anal sex and close skin-to-skin body contact. With a dildo strapped to your body, your hands are free to tease, stroke, grab, spank—there are endless possibilities. A strap-on can also be an opportunity to explore fantasy role-play, whether it’s playing with gender roles or power dynamics. Remember: you write the script of your pegging scenario: keep it funny and light or go deep and twisted, it’s all up to you!

Tristan Taormino is the author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women and director/producer of the sex ed videos The Expert Guide to Pegging and The Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men.

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2 Responses

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