If either you or your partner are both (or both!) are on the bigger side, it can change the sexual positions that the two of you can accomplish. It doesn’t have to put a damper on your sex life though “ you just have to understand that not every Kama Sutra position out there is going to work for the two of you. If you are having problems with the positions you’ve been trying, you just have to be more creative or go back to the basics.
Your first resource is to attempt to put a variation on the “basic positions in hopes of finding something that works best for the two of your bodies. This may lead to some frustration when things don’t work, but just keep trying until something ends up working for the two of you. If you are comfortable with your bodies, always remember that the two of you can rearrange yourselves in the middle of positions to make things work better. Being open and communicating about what positions work and what doesn’t will help. It may not seem sexy, but if the two of you really would like to try new positions, try dry humping in the position (like teenagers!) or getting into the various positions while you are unaroused. This will lead to less frustration because you aren’t aroused and seeking relief.
If it seems like it will be useful for the two of you, you can check out some of the Kama Sutra positions and try to make variations off of those positions. From there, you both can talk about what positions seem most comfortable for the two of you as well as how to make it better.
If variations on the basics haven’t seem to work for the two of you, the next step I’d recommend is to check out some Liberator Shapes. While you both might have tried pillows in the past, I’ve found that pillows tend to squish way too much under large amounts of weight to really be useful for plus-size men and women. However, (and I speak from experience with my almost-300 pound weight) I’ve found that Liberator Shapes have firm enough foam that it supports my weight with no problem and minimal squishing. Our favorite has been the Liberator Wedge since it lifts my hips perfectly into a missionary position. For two plus-size partners (or just one partner), this Wedge really does seem to elevate the hips and make positions more comfortable.
For example, by elevating her hips in the missionary position, most of her weight tends to move back towards her head and makes it easier for intercourse. In a from-behind position, the Wedge elevates the hips and makes it easier for entry while helping support her weight. If a male enjoys anal, these same positions would apply. (These also apply to homosexual couples, but for sake of clarity, I’m using a male/female couple.) Of course, the sky is the limit when you partner a Wedge with your imagination.
If you don’t have the extra money to spend on a sex shape, there’s still other positions that you can do. For example, a lot of couples have had good experience with the female up at hip-level of the male by kneeling against the bed or bending over for a from-behind position. In some plus-size women, though, this can tend to cause a problem because of a large butt. However, in men, being able to stand means that a large stomach usually isn’t in the way of penetration.
A variation on the above position is to have the female lie down on her back level with the male’s hip height. From there, she can stick her legs straight in the air (on his shoulders) or wrap them around the male’s body. Her stomach won’t be in the way, and neither will his. Depending on your size, the male could lean over the female and kiss her. For a unique twist on this position, the female can use a household item (like a belt) looped around the bottoms of her feet to spread her legs apart comfortably. This will lead to a neat, Kama Sutra-like position.
Most sitting positions can tend to be a bit difficult for those with a bit of fluff with them “ especially if both partners are . However, if the male leans back a bit to a 45 degree angle (possibly by reclining on pillows on a bed), you can both enjoy the benefits of a sitting position while still having the comfort and room you need for the position. To vary this, the female could face away from him instead of looking at him. If she needs some leverage, she can either place her hands at a firm wall behind the guy’s head or, if facing the other way, she can bend over or place some of her weight onto his legs.
A traditional girl-on-top position, accomplished by the guy laying down and the girl sitting on top of him, is usually possible with most participants. Contrary to popular belief, there’s no way that a large woman on top of a guy will squish or break him in the slightest. After a while of the position, his hips may get numb due to the weight, but it won’t harm him at all. The female can sit up at a 90 degree angle, lean forward towards him (if their weight allows it) or lean backwards and place her hands on the floor for support. I’ve found that doing this position on a surface that doesn’t have any give (a bed has give, a wood/carpeted floor doesn’t) helps the female be able to achieve g-spot pleasure during intercourse.
If positions tend to tire either of you out before you can reach climax, no one says that all of your stimulation has to come from intercourse! Before intercourse, you can enjoy a large amount of foreplay that will bring you both closer to climax, so large amounts of intercourse won’t be required. You can also take times to alternate between intercourse and oral sex to increase your desire as well as to tease your partner.
If the problem isn’t the positions, but instead, the lack of desire, this is something you need to discuss with your partner. While it’s always possible for a person to lose weight, the worst way to go about it is to nag your partner. You both need to sit down and have a discussion about weight in a respectful manner “ no pressuring should be done, and if you are asking someone to lose weight, do what you’re asking as well. If you want to help your partner lose weight, you should be following the same diet and exercise regiment “ there’s more strength in numbers anyway.
Contrary to popular belief, being larger doesn’t have to mean you have a boring sex life. There are positions that the two of you can accomplish easily as long as you keep trying until you find a position that works for you. Your weight never has to have a negative impact on your sexuality “ not unless you let it.