Phone Sex Operator Diary: May 11, 2012

I have an incredibly spongy, malleable, absorbent sexuality. My sexuality is kind of like a glove made of tape that is then shoved into a jar full of sexual proclivities. The jar in this scenario is my phone sex job.

I started working in phone sex when I was 20 because I wanted the money and also because I was nursing a broken heart and trying to forget the attendant pregnancy that had been a byproduct of the relationship which caused aforementioned broken heart. It was between my sophomore and junior years in college. I worked with the company for three, maybe four years and then I left because of some combination of boredom and full-time employment.

On the precipice of thirty-dom, while budgeting the advance for the book contract I just got, I realized that (1) freelance/contract work is still my favorite, (2) I wanted to go back into the “jizz bizz,” and (3) may as well start growing that nest egg again. So, I looked into working for some other companies, but the moment I heard my old supervisor/dispatcher on the other end of the line I felt right at home. She remembered me and asked how things were going. She told me she’d happily rehire me and that brings things up to speed. I’m working for my old phone sex company again, and so I’m being exposed to a bunch of new sexualities from my clients again.

When you work in phone sex, you have to decide what your angle or your niche is going to be so you can market yourself to your best potential client. During my PSO (phone sex operator) Career Part 1, I remember reflecting on my life experience to try and figure out what my clients might want. So far in life I’d discovered from the men I’d been with that they liked big boobs, intellect, curvy girls and penis love. So, I thought I could parlay that into a successful career. Au contraire. I found myself being really surprised by how many men wanted age play, more specifically: to talk about me being a young woman – most often a step daughter or neighbor girl, most often on the precipice of puberty – who seduced them. They didn’t care a lot about my boobs or how smart I was. Age play was above and beyond the most requested fantasy I did when I worked for the company before.

After a five year hiatus from the company, I signed in on Saturday and waited for my first call. I was ready this time. I had created a little webpage that had firmly marketed me as a curious girl next door type. The phone rang, and the word “Daddy” had already begun to form on my lips. But no. This guy most definitely did not want a curious girl next door. He wanted toilet training… and a Mommy. For those of you new to toilet training, I will tell you that it has some slight shades of difference and degree in the way that it is used, but at the end of the day it means turning someone into your toilet. He wanted a hot, dominant woman who would show him that he was barely worthy of drinking her piss. Sure, I can do that. We talked for 45 minutes and after he came the conversation switched to small talk with incredible ease. We talked about our weekend plans and I recommended a restaurant in his area (Atlanta) that he might like.

“Have you been to Gilbert’s? That place has the best baba ghannouj.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they turn it slowly on the grill for 8 hours by hand. It’s a very traditional method. It pairs nicely with an Isreali zinfandel.”

Now we’re on Day 3 of PSO Career Part 2, and unlike the first go-round, I have almost exclusively submissive clients. Submissive clients are great because they like it when you make fun of them or demand all their money… two things for which I apparently have a knack. One guy gave me a $50 tip for laughing at him and telling him he’s a pervert. I’ve had one client who wanted me to talk about how much I love marabou slippers and hate my step-mom. He went into amazing detail about the cost and measurements of everything in our imaginary world, even name-dropping Jimmy Choo. Another client with a developmental disability wanted me to call him “retarded,” old, and gullible. He also tipped me $50 for this.

The sex positive part of my brain proclaims: “Yay to whatever gets you off. No judgments here.” The radical activist part of my brain asks: “Am I being complicit in your internalized ableism?” And the sexologist part of my brain pulls at its proverbial chin hairs and muses: “Hmm. That’s very interesting.” I’m not sure who wins. Maybe everyone gets a turn.

But back to my spongy sexuality. I find I can’t resist becoming aroused by my clients’ fantasies and their arousal. I don’t wish to resist this impulse either. My clients get hot when I am wickedly dominant and a little part of my brain clicks. I find myself wanting to be a ball-busting bitch. Even fantasies that had never occurred to me become arousing possibilities when I talk to them. I like that. I’m not sure what all this means. I’m not sure if this is the way that I “should” relate to clients. I’m quite sure that every best practices manual on the subject would warn against it. I am providing a service to my phone johns, but I am being changed by them.

My life as a PSO is beginning again and I intend to give you the down and dirty (and the down and nerdy). ‘ Til next time, you can reach me at extension 811.

Virgie Tovar

Virgie Tovar is the author/editor of the upcoming fat positive anthology Hot &Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion (Seal Press, November 2012). She holds an MA in Human Sexuality, is certified as a sex educator, and was voted Best Sex Writer by the Bay Area Guardian in 2008 for her first book, Destination DD: Adventures of a Brest Fetishist with 40DDs. After teaching Female Sexuality at UC Berkeley she went onto host The Virgie Show (CBS Radio) from 2007-2008. When she’s not teaching sexuality seminars or shimmying as her burlesque alter ego, Dulce de Lecherous, she is creating content for her video blog: Virgie Tovar’s Guide to Fat Girl Living. Virgie has been featured on Playboy Radio and Women’s Entertainment Television. She lives in San Francisco.

You may also like...

2 Responses

  1. I’m a phone operator too and this article gets a thumbs up! :)

  2. Phone Sex says:

    Really cool to do phone sex. I like that you can have uninhibited sex by phone and talk about anything on your mind. People need to have fun and this is an awesome way to get off. Nice post!